My grandma’s funeral last week, first time seeing family in a quarter century, “how do I tactfully ask if their spouse is alive/dead/in a memory unit”
So I just waited until they brought it up.
“Sorry, I was just released from the memory unit. Did I see your spouse there?”
Me and my wife had neighbours for 5 years and we never remembered their names, the cherry on top we could remember their cats’ names. ADHD is a bitch.
Odd name for a cat.
This isn’t your fault. You remember names of people or pets you like or find interesting.
This is your neighbors’ fault for being dull. If they did something awesome, you would remember them. If they were as cute as their pets, you would know their names.
If someone forgets your name, you are boring. Be less boring next time or be a cat.
At least you remembered the most important ones 🤷🏻
I’ve long since stopped feeling bad about remembering the names of kickass animals and not their meh humans and tbh I wouldn’t be offended myself if some remember the names of The Fabulous Staredycat Sisters but not mine 😄
I’ve started putting the names of everyone’s kids and pets into their contact name. So my cousin Jimmy’s contact name is “Jimmy - Adrian, Lucas, Andrea (Lexi)”.
I used to have a rep put bits and pieces of my info of what we talked about in his contact list. Use this technique very carefully if you’re selling stuff, it comes across very pushy and invasive if not used right.
Hell I use it with my friends contact cards on my phone, really helps with selling the friendship as genuine (the friendships are genuine, my brain just can’t handle all the information this world throws at it)
It’s a wise thing to do if you don’t cram every little detail into the first 2 sentences of your convo
Dude you can go decades knowing someone and being close to them and their spouse is just “[name]'s spouse” to you the whole time and it’s completely normal.
I am always very upfront about the fact that I will not remember your family’s names and that it’s actually a tremendous sign if I remember your name. I will remember your pupper’s name though. Past and present.
I know 12-15 people in my neighborhood. I only know 3 of their names, the rest are all <dog’s name>'s dad/mom.
*Or if they have any partners or children
True, fam can refer to kids and partner but also to parents and siblings
“How are things at home?” Is another good one I’ve used
Just talking to someone about this. There was a coworker who was very pregnant, but she doesn’t see her too often and she hasnt really shared too much after the pregnancy. We were trying to think of a good way to ask without asking and this was one of the options
i have to deliberately choose to remember someones name, and even then i might fail. pretty much every time someone tells me their name, ill repeat it back to them out loud, and like literally the next second it will be gone from my mind. couldn’t even tell you what it starts with. its really annoying because thats pretty much the only thing ill forget about them.
Couldn’t remember whether my friend’s wife was named Kristen or Kirsten for the longest time. “How’s the wife?” worked once, then he asked me how my wife was doing by her name. I had to gamble and got it right.
Or at least I hope I did and he didn’t just internalize it, forever judging me.
You can always slur your words and say something like “Kisten” quickly. As a non native English speaker I do this sort of thing more often than I’d like to admit, you get away with a surprising amount even when you’ve spoken the language for over 25 years. 😅
As someone with ADHD, you get used to sounding like an asshole. You also get used to apologizing for it.
“Very close”, you say?
