I’ve been through idk how many therapists. And therapy is expensive as fuck because my insurance is shit. So I’m fucking done with this bullshit.
Most therapists I’ve tried, even if they claim to have certain treatment modalities, seem to just be keen on sitting there and listening to me talk without giving me much guidance at all. They give me vague ideas and not actually real skills or homework. This isn’t helping me at all whatsoever.
Part of the issue is that I literally could never pinpoint what the fuck my issue was. I did see a therapist years back who seemed to actually give skills and worksheets, but she was using CBT for a minor issue for me because I couldn’t figure out what my problem actually was. I only had a few sessions and then stopped due to the price and the fact that I thought she latched onto a minor problem to treat (and I didn’t know my issue then).
When someone told me about “emotional dysregulation” and I found out that DBT is the gold standard for it, I have tried to find some who practice this, but it seems that most don’t. And those who claim to are actually often essentially talk therapists who just listen to me instead of giving me techniques and homework to build skills.
I’m frustrated as all fucking hell. Recently my work told me I will be fired if I cannot sort myself out. I am desperate here.
I live in the US, Florida specifically.
Thanks for listening.
https://a.co/d/9bqM6Pw get this in the meantime and work through it even of your anger tells you it’s stupid.
I can second this recommendation if it is possible to be found outside of Amazon and at a local book shop.
Thanks for the rec!!! You know I bought this book a while ago (but the generic one, not one specifically for anxiety…I didn’t realize they had different subsets) and never really cracked it open.
Well I pulled it out and ran over to FedEx to print out all the online worksheets lol. Gonna start checking it out tonight.
Have you used this yourself?
Update…I sat down with it last night and it started ok but then I got triggered really badly and had to stop because I was really distressed lol.
I have access to hydroxyzine (which I honestly don’t use…it’s like Benadryl and was given to me in case I ever need trouble sleeping which I don’t). Don’t laugh but I was consulting chatgpt and it gave me the idea to try taking it before I do any of these DBT workbooks and stuff to help me relax. Gonna give it a shot and see what happens!
Please be careful with using AI to help with ANYTHING to do with mental health. It’s one of the worst tools for that because they are literally designed to only tell you what you want to hear. I highly suggest watching a channel on YouTube called HealthyGamerGG. His starting focus was mostly young mens mental health but he has a lot of very informative videos on a lot of subjects that I found incredibly useful. I followed along to multiple videos and took notes, and while I did start therapy at the same time I would say that this channel was a large part of my improving mental health.
Yeah it does do a lot of telling you what to hear but honestly I spend a lot of time arguing with mine instead of it just validating me lol. I think as they continue to develop it, it becomes less like that.
The problem is my therapist just gives me vague concepts and I don’t at all know what to do with the information. So I keep going to ChatGPT to help me try to figure out what to do with the concepts she gives me.
I just feel like this isn’t giving me enough structure or guidance to the point where I can make much progress.
Update 2: The therapist I grilled today actually showed me the generic version of this book (not the anxiety one) unprompted so I think that’s a good sign. She said she works with the book with you.
Yeah typically a therapist would work with you, but you can still do the exercises while you find an appropriate therapist. I know that the exercises can seem simple and therefore make you feel worse, but trying to get through them when you’re able can be helpful. That’s the crappy thing about mental health issues, the normalization of the way you are which makes change seem both impossible and wrong. Relief is possible but there’s no way to know what tool will work best for what person.
Did you ask your therapist to give you worksheets/homework?
This. Straight up ask. Go into therapy with your own expectations clearly laid out, because they’re there to work for you.
Yeah I’m going to be very direct in the next session about this. So I’m still giving her another chance, but I don’t know how well it will be followed through. I like her a lot as a person, but I’m not overly optimistic. I also didn’t entirely know how therapy really worked and what I needed in therapy before recently, so it’s been a ride. My therapist is also tied to my psych provider (who also may be mildly incompetent), so it’s a bit of a mildly tricky scenario.
I also went a bit “nuts” and scheduled intake sessions with 3 therapists within the next several days that say they practice DBT and are familiar with personality disorders in their “conditions they treat” area. I’m going to be blunt and direct with all of them. Like I said…in the past I didn’t know what I needed but I do now.
Problem is I’m going to have to suss out between these 4 people which can help me out before scheduling a million sessions with each.