I have never in my life ever been prompted to apologize for being white, and am not aware of anyone in the US being asked or told to apologize for being white.
Some white people have been prompted to apologize for being racist assholes, sure, but that is a separate thing. Clarence Thomas should also apologize for being a racist asshole for his views and rulings on civil rights decisions for example.
That’s the point though: they assume every white person is a racist asshole just like them, so apologizing for one is apologizing for the other. When you live the life of a white supremecist day-in, day-out, the way they do, you start to think that’s just how life is. You can’t see racist entitlement from the inside of the racists. It’s just “the way of things.”
I don’t have to read comments on a conservative forum to hear their nonsense, I just have to remain quiet long enough around my mother for her to spontaneously spout some random right-wing boogie man story. I will attempt to explain how this is not a real thing to be concerned about and will also ask where she heard about it - she’ll then insist that it happens all the time and that she has first-hand knowledge.
It’s exhausting.
(Thankfully, I live at the other end of a long ferry ride, so these conversations are less frequent!)
i’m curious how you did it. i tried being nice, they’d just attack me.
i struggle to want to be nice to people who want me dead. who are loud about how i am lazy and stealing their tax dollars.
a former maga friend - someone who i was “nice” to until the one time i wasn’t, even though he was allowed to say all the shitty things he wanted - told me i was a waste of space. he verbally attacked me over my health issues knowing how sensitive a subject that is.
i don’t see them as people tbh. if me saying that validates their opinion that i’m evil, maybe they should start acting like people instead of monsters.
they also, as a group, tend to be more likely to be offending pedos, rapists, domestic abusers, and mass shooters. which for me reinforces the idea that they aren’t people.
It really depends a lot on context and situation, ideally it’s someone you already have at least SOME passing acquaintance with so they give you a chance
okay, so this won’t work with all the social media maga telling me to kill myself.
i’ve done all those things as in person i don’t like being confrontational. yeah, it makes people adore me and say im the sweetest. never changes them though.
a little observation. your comment history says you’re a cis man. i think that might be part of why it’s been more effective for you to change minds. what you say has more weight.
never said there aren’t terrible leftists. there are plenty. people in general are terrible.
statistically speaking, right wingers are worse. this is factual. don’t gaslight me.
i’m afraid of confrontation and i’m friendly enough that horrible people feel comfortably trauma-dumping on me, but they never feel comfortable changing.
i tend to be a pretty validating person and they love that. but the one time i call them out on something they need to do better, their defenses go up. no one is actually interested in being a good person, they just want to be told they’re a good person.
i’m disabled and i get assigned caregivers from a local agency. a caregiver casually told me she’s a pedophile (trump supporter too btw). people are too comfortable around me.
You don’t “be polite” you be a person who can be social, listen and ask questions and read someone’s feelings.
That is literally what being polite is. I have been polite, and not started arguments with them for years by just politely disagreeing while they dial up their rhetoric and are now full on fascists.
The examples of people who spend years convincing a handful of people are overblown while MAGA numbers increase exponentially.
You are saying we have to be all Kitty Soft Paws with them to avoid hurting their feelings. That didn’t work before at any scale, and it certainly won’t work now. Now is the time to be blunt and point out they voted for this shit and that their anti immigration stuff is racist and that their opposition to DEI is based on them not understanding what it is.
They spew hate constantly, it is time to push back. Fuck their feelings.
I have never in my life ever been prompted to apologize for being white, and am not aware of anyone in the US being asked or told to apologize for being white.
Same, where is this coming from? What are these people doing that they feel like they’re being expected to apologize for? It’s the racism isn’t it?
i think it’s more that they think they’re being asked to apologize for benefiting from systemic racism rather than being asked to acknowledge and correct it. if systemic racism is real then it means that all their success is tainted and fake, and since their social and economic status forms the basis of their self-identity, it reads to them as an attack on the validity of their own self-image. so, since they’re racist they try to make it about their race instead of their racism.
I have never in my life ever been prompted to apologize for being white, and am not aware of anyone in the US being asked or told to apologize for being white.
Some white people have been prompted to apologize for being racist assholes, sure, but that is a separate thing. Clarence Thomas should also apologize for being a racist asshole for his views and rulings on civil rights decisions for example.
That’s the point though: they assume every white person is a racist asshole just like them, so apologizing for one is apologizing for the other. When you live the life of a white supremecist day-in, day-out, the way they do, you start to think that’s just how life is. You can’t see racist entitlement from the inside of the racists. It’s just “the way of things.”
Obligatory fuck JD Vance.
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I don’t have to read comments on a conservative forum to hear their nonsense, I just have to remain quiet long enough around my mother for her to spontaneously spout some random right-wing boogie man story. I will attempt to explain how this is not a real thing to be concerned about and will also ask where she heard about it - she’ll then insist that it happens all the time and that she has first-hand knowledge.
It’s exhausting.
(Thankfully, I live at the other end of a long ferry ride, so these conversations are less frequent!)
No, you can not change them. They can change, but it has to be something they initiate on their own.
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username does not check out
i’m curious how you did it. i tried being nice, they’d just attack me.
i struggle to want to be nice to people who want me dead. who are loud about how i am lazy and stealing their tax dollars.
a former maga friend - someone who i was “nice” to until the one time i wasn’t, even though he was allowed to say all the shitty things he wanted - told me i was a waste of space. he verbally attacked me over my health issues knowing how sensitive a subject that is.
i don’t see them as people tbh. if me saying that validates their opinion that i’m evil, maybe they should start acting like people instead of monsters.
they also, as a group, tend to be more likely to be offending pedos, rapists, domestic abusers, and mass shooters. which for me reinforces the idea that they aren’t people.
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okay, so this won’t work with all the social media maga telling me to kill myself.
i’ve done all those things as in person i don’t like being confrontational. yeah, it makes people adore me and say im the sweetest. never changes them though.
a little observation. your comment history says you’re a cis man. i think that might be part of why it’s been more effective for you to change minds. what you say has more weight.
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never said there aren’t terrible leftists. there are plenty. people in general are terrible.
statistically speaking, right wingers are worse. this is factual. don’t gaslight me.
i’m afraid of confrontation and i’m friendly enough that horrible people feel comfortably trauma-dumping on me, but they never feel comfortable changing.
i tend to be a pretty validating person and they love that. but the one time i call them out on something they need to do better, their defenses go up. no one is actually interested in being a good person, they just want to be told they’re a good person.
i’m disabled and i get assigned caregivers from a local agency. a caregiver casually told me she’s a pedophile (trump supporter too btw). people are too comfortable around me.
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Being polite to them has worked out really well so far!
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That is literally what being polite is. I have been polite, and not started arguments with them for years by just politely disagreeing while they dial up their rhetoric and are now full on fascists.
The examples of people who spend years convincing a handful of people are overblown while MAGA numbers increase exponentially.
You are saying we have to be all Kitty Soft Paws with them to avoid hurting their feelings. That didn’t work before at any scale, and it certainly won’t work now. Now is the time to be blunt and point out they voted for this shit and that their anti immigration stuff is racist and that their opposition to DEI is based on them not understanding what it is.
They spew hate constantly, it is time to push back. Fuck their feelings.
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People change all the time.
Same, where is this coming from? What are these people doing that they feel like they’re being expected to apologize for? It’s the racism isn’t it?
Racism is their identity.
i think it’s more that they think they’re being asked to apologize for benefiting from systemic racism rather than being asked to acknowledge and correct it. if systemic racism is real then it means that all their success is tainted and fake, and since their social and economic status forms the basis of their self-identity, it reads to them as an attack on the validity of their own self-image. so, since they’re racist they try to make it about their race instead of their racism.
Clarence Thomas should apologize for being white.