• Nounka@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    That dopamine - talk we had also. He sais the same.

    Also the fact you said about the bad feelings cause he can not lift off we also talked about.

    I also do not blaim him. He needs the pills. I want him to live a good life ( not depressed ) . But i would not mind those pills would work different.

    Tkx for the info

  • Nounka@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    I **** hate some off the pills my partner has to take. In 2025 we had sex only 3 times. I am so darned horny sometimes but get no help. Bought toys to do it myself but it is not the same.

    He had his dokter subscribe some kind off ‘blue pill’ ( not the famous one but like that ). His libido is so low he did not even bother to take one.

    Even his sexsomniac nights are reduced to almost nothing. He sometimes has his ‘feel if it is a woman next to me’ move. And the ‘nipples need to be there’ move. But no wood for me even so that i am manually trying to get him to show his growing capacities. Frustrating to be awakend for nothing.

    And than a few weeks ago i went to his gaming room and noteced him on porn. With a erection in the hand stroking his way to enjoyment. I felt really unwanted there. I don t care for the porn ( stupid soft stuff. boring imo ) i was more upset he did not come to me to have his way with me.

    So i would say… A dickie … yes i remember.

    • 1984@lemmy.today
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      4 hours ago

      Porn will kill a guys attraction to normal looking women. I have no idea why people act like its a good thing to watch it.

      It literally trains your brain to constantly need more dopamine. So sure, maybe now its soft stuff, but that will not be enough in six months. Thats how it works.

      • Nounka@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        Tbh. Even when we dated ( 18 yrs ago ) he watched that soft stuff. He hated to see fake boobs, fake lips, blowjobs, more than 1 on 1 , anal,… And still doos.

        That is not the reason he doos not gets ‘a fun guy’

    • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      This is only my experience, so take what follows for what it’s worth (not much).

      I have been in the same situation as your partner (though I had sex with my partner more ofte, but still way less than before medication).

      Simply put, I was ashamed of my low libido and not in a good headspace even with my medication( which was supposed to help).

      I was so ashamed that I didn’t want to initiate sex with my partner. It was not rational, but that is how I felt at the time. And I would sometime watch porn so that I could get the dopamine I would get from sex, without the shame.

      I know it won’t make you feel better, but hopefully you can have a different perspective on how your partner might feel and get, hopefully, a new track to find a solution to your problems.

      Also, there are some medications that can help with libido (Wellbutrin if I remember correctly). Might be worth it for your partner to check with his doctor.

      • BanMe@lemmy.world
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        6 hours ago

        Wellbutrin can make things go in the other direction, masturbating is like cleaning the trigger of a loaded gun with an oven mitt.

  • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    My SSRIs make everything take longer. A lot longer. We’re both like dead tired before finishing.

  • village604@adultswim.fan
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    14 hours ago

    Mine actually increased my sex drive… But, they made my dick not work.

    It’s like going to see your favorite band and going deaf right before they go on stage. Yeah, you got to enjoy the opening bands, but you didn’t get to enjoy the main event.

    Luckily my fingers and tongue still work.

    • Gathorall@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Mine had little effect on sex drive yet nicely enhanced my time of release, unfortunately at the time

  • Emi@ani.social
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    24 hours ago

    For me they did not kill my sex drive but made me unable to cum. But the psychiatrist said that since I don’t have a girlfriend so that’s not a problem right?

  • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    I dropped my meds cold turkey when that happened like a decade ago, and told my current GP I’d do it again if he put me on anything that affected my libido.

    He showed me though, I’m pretty sure my libido is up after getting the dosage sorted.

    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      I dropped my meds cold turkey when that happened like a decade ago,

      that shit is fucked up man, “the zaps” for coming off anti-deps are a month+ long pain.

        • Kay Ohtie@pawb.social
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          17 hours ago

          Mine ended 6 months after cold turkey on Zoloft. Doctors just… Didn’t know at all, when it happened.

          I was thinking I still get them from time to time but in writing this post I realized I only get shivers, not the full zap.

      • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        It was better than the mental fucking they were giving me. Like I told the GP, they’re not helping and we’re going to make the problem worse if I stayed on them.

        • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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          17 hours ago

          Hey, I’m not saying “don’t go off meds if they’re doing more harm than good” I’m saying “going cold turkey off mental health meds instead of doctor/therapist guided tapering is a bad idea”

  • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
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    13 hours ago

    The question is: Did your depression cause your sex drive, or did your sex drive cause your depression, or are these two entirely unrelated and only coincidentally correlated?

    • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      Some types of antidepressants have a very common side effect where they massively reduce (sometimes to the point of completely eliminating) your sex drive. It’s a really shitty tradeoff.

      • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        Worst is that some medication will kill your orgasm. So you get your libido back, but you don’t get to enjoy your orgasm anymore.

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    14 hours ago

    I’d rather be depressed and still be able to cum than whatever benefits anti depressants are going to offer. I’m pretty sure most of my depression is due to the state of the world anyway. Pills aren’t gonna change that.

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      ahh yes, “just be happy” logic.

      sometimes the depression is so heavy that the only thoughts one has is to end it all because the pain is so unbearable.

      imagine losing a limb and the pain is so great that no matter the amount or strength of pain killers you take, the pain won’t stop.

      but yeah, totally worth it to experience that just so you can rock out with your cock out.