• jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    2 hours ago

    Your safe word requires two factor authentication. I hope you kept your phone handy.

    That or put a yubikey on your nipple ring.

    • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      10 minutes ago

      Fun fact: I work in municipal government and they started making us use 2-factor that sent messages to our cell phones. That came back to bite us when we got an Open Records request that included a request for text messages between staff containing specific keywords. Employees who didn’t have a city-issued phone and hadn’t been using their personal phones for work got pretty upset when I had to take their phones and search their text histories.

      And that’s how every remaining employee down to the guys running the lawnmowers in the parks department got a monthly phone stipend.

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        29 seconds ago

        You mean “had been using their personal phones”? Or you had to take their personal phones regardless? In which case the phone stipend wouldn’t have mattered? Makes me think some people might just pocket the stipend and then be upset when the same thing happens again, so maybe you should just issue phones lol.

    • MerryJaneDoe@lemmy.world
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      4 minutes ago

      Oh…you said “fold”. Core memory triggered.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTkPiA9xdiE

      Yeah… Grab my terryfold flaps Grab my flappy folds Grab my terryfolds Grab my foldy flaps Hey, touch my foldy flaps Grab my terryfolds Grab my foldy holds Grab my terry flaps In my terryfolds Grab my terry flaps You gotta touch 'em… my terryfolds Grab my terryfolds Touch my holdy flaps Take a big flap Take my foldy flaps (Aaah) My terryfolds (Aaah) My foldy holds (Oooh) And my terry flaps Gotta grab my terry flaps Grab my terry flaps Squeeze my holdy folds Hold my coldy folds Grab my foldy tolds Grab my terry flap holds Grab my terryfolds Hold my foldy folds Hold my terryfolds Hey, did you ever wanna hold a terryfold? I got one right here (here) Grab my terry flap Squeeze it, grab it, squeeze and tug on my terry flap Hey, I wanna take you to the terryfold dance Wanna come with me? You can grab my holdy folds Squeeze them tight, you son of a bitch! Suck my holdy flappy folds Lick my flappy foldy holds My terry flaps in your mouth Suck my flaps you piece of shit! Fuck you (fuck you) You stupid dumb motherfucking bitch (Aaah Aaah) Hey, grab my terry flaps Gonna eat those toldy folds I gotta couple of terryfold flaps I got a flappy foldy flap I’m gonna go take you to food Gonna eat, then we’re going to the terryfold dance (dance) You and me We’re gonna go to the terryfold place It’s gonna be a night out Gonna have a real fancy time Hoo!