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Captain Great Depression
Going by kill count, i’mma say captain preventable heart disease.
Captain car accident.
He’s hidden in the trees, Steve. You’ll never see him coming.
For real though, the actual Captain America superhero is pretty vulnerable. He took Super Soldier Serum so he’s stronger than regular people. But, he couldn’t beat the Hulk, Doctor Doom, Magneto, Ultron, Thanos, etc. in a one-on-one fight.
Fun fact, in one of the what if comic runs Cap goes AWOL and nominally sides with the North Vietnamese. It’s balanced out by the fact that in the absolutely worst universe Cap is a cannibal and taught nick fury, the one with the X-men concentration camp not Marvel zombie.
Captain Afghanistan.
Captain Iran
Captain Bay of Pigs.
Captain Dementia, currently
Technically, Captain Britain is 1-1 if you count the War of 1812 as a British victory.
Who is captain America? Because the guy in the picture is captain
PortoPuerto Rico 🇵🇷Also, other options to the question: Captain Iran, Captain Afghanistan, Captain China, Captain Putin, captain Kim Yong Un
Puerto?
That’s the one! Dyslecticon non-native English speaker here, sorry
It brings back special memories.
A Puerto Rican girl in HS wrote Portorico as one word on her backpack in whiteout. I’ve made it a point to make sure I knew how to spell Puerto rico since them and not look like a fucking moron. Nothing against you, just a special memory of an idiot.
Hahaha that’s a great story, thanks! Makes my mistake feel a bit less silly haha <3
Not 🇱🇷?
His suit looks more like the Puerto Rican flag than the Liberian flag tbh
Although he does wear the A from asshole on his head hinting he might be American
the supervillain Mango Mussolini isn’t bad at it either
Haven’t heard that one before. Do you mean Diaper Donny? I know he’s amazing at destroying America, but I wouldn’t call him a captain tbh. I prefer to call him by his official title, “pedo sex offender and crook Diaper Donny”.
Edit: oh you didn’t call him a captain but super villain. I stand corrected.
Captain America every time the USA starts a new fucking war under barking-mad bigots:
Bonus:
Do you know which issue this is from? I’d like to read the full thing.
Fucking based
And it’s SO, SO much worse now. Which Marvel superheroes would stand against the current US government if they existed in the real world, I wonder? I’d like to think most of them would.
Tony Stark would be worried about the Epstein files.
Howard the Duck would for sure.
Man same
Horror movie I want to watch, retired Americans go to a Vietnam vacation resort, One dies, accident? they keep enjoying their vacation, they slowly learn that they are not only all vets, but served in Nam, including the massacring of a village. they keep dying, no longer accidents. The resort does nothing to help. police ignore them. Twist at the end is that the whole resort was built where the village stood and all staff (and police) are descendants of survivors.
Directed by M. Night Shamalan
Written by Mel Gibson.
Is that really a twist?
I think a plot twist would be, if there was a metaphysical maelstrom of guilt and they kept offing themselves because of it.stop complaining and start writing
I’m in!
chefs kiss
captain taliban?
captain measles?
captain hormuz?
America is currently being absolutely destroyed by:
captain oligarch
captain propaganda (where most of the propaganda is so transparent that any decently educated 13 year old should be able to see through it)
decently educated
Ah, there’s the problem. Republican states don’t allow those types to spread.
Captain strict diet?
Captain metric system?
Captain World Map?
captain [REDACTED]
Best one so far 😆
Whoa, let’s not lose all sense of proportion here.
Captain Covid has a nice ring to it
What about Captain Capitalism?
Just another 58,000 soldiers in the meat grinder for another two decades and they would have won!
Captain drugs
