This is my partner. Most men are completely gross to her, some are kind of attractive. every single time that kind of attractive one has turned out to be gay or trans. Like 13 total with a streak of like 7 that didn’t even know they were trans before dating her (including me).
Straight lady with kids of various persuasions and yeah. Our kids are good looking but all of the girls look better than their boyfriends and the girlfriends are better looking than the boys. The girl with girlfriend and trans guy with girlfriend are in much more equal looking-ness relationships.
I feel like me & the husband are reasonably well matched, averagely good looking not stunning. The kids though, they think I am the better looking one too.
I do think more women are good looking. We just are. Some is care, taking better care of ourselves. Some, I don’t know - girls seem to think my trans son is ridiculously good looking though, so I am not convinced it’s all grooming.
I do think it’s harder to look good as a guy, the standards are narrower. There are more ways to look as a woman, more different looks are considered hot. Guys have fewer.
It’s because female beauty is about curves and softness and warm inviting eyes and glowing skin and heavy girl-stink (that last one might just be me).
Male beauty standards are about looking like a bag full of bricks that smells like industrial biproducts marketed as “sport”.
Why is her left eye so white
phone camera processing artifacts?
Is this that iphone camera AI I’ve been hearing about
It’s been around a lot longer than AI
I have a few ideas and I think the reality is a mixture of all of them.
- Women have more pressure to be beautiful
- Women are taught to know the value of vanity while men are not
- Men primarily select for beauty, while women select for other things, so women are essentially selectively bred for beauty, to put it in grossly clinical terms
About #2: Yeah I’m a guy and I’ve recently taken up makeup classes (mostly for theatrical/fantasy purposes) but sometimes I go out and I think I look bad and I just puff it up a bit now that I know to give me a bit more of a healthy glow. Just slightly so, tiny bit of powder, a bit of color to cover the dark under my eyes when I’m tired, stuff like that.
I think most women do this without thinking, as a man I was not even aware of the possibilities. I thought makeup was all the super obvious stuff. Like mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick.
Regarding your 3. point: Humans are the most heavily selected/bred species of all.
You have all heard about “domesticated animals/plants” - i.e. cows give more milk, apple trees give more and bigger and sweeter apples.
But i think more intensely than all these species, humans are selectively bred as well. We select for beauty, successfulness, intelligence, funniness, witfulness, idk what else. And that certainly drives evolution is a certain way. That’s why humans have evolved more rapidly than any other species in the last 10K years, including ability to speak, and other traits, i think.
I think she’s just gay
In many places men are bullied by their peers if they put “excessive” care into their appearance.
Men primarily select for beauty, while women select for other things
Idk about that. Any high class club or bar in America will have That One Guy with a sorority’s worth of women just hanging off him.
Also, men will fixate on beauty. But they routinely select for compatibility and accessibility. Guys pair up with girls who are interested in them. And finding a woman who reflects your own interests and passions is as much of the dating game as looking good. The standard for physical beauty is highly relative, such that the cutest girl in the computer science lounge probably won’t look anything like a Vogue Cover Model but will still have a hive of anxious, sweaty, love-struck co-eds hovering around them.
women are essentially selectively bred for beauty
Beauty standards are all over the map. Read your Freud. Straight men tend to gravitate towards women who remind them of their childhood primary caretakers (ie, mom). Women aren’t “selectively bred” for anything. They reproduce a cohort of young men who adopt the beauty standards established by their elders.
It is not women who change to reflect male tastes but men who change to reflect female appearance.
Where you see this pattern go off the rails is among latchkey kids who are exposed to mass media and denied access to a large cohort of IRL caregivers. When TV raises your kids, they’re going to grow up to believe Women On TV are what women should look like. But then beauty standards are established by TV production companies, not natural selection.
I like my men to be clean but gruff. Cute is a bonus but definitely not what I’m looking for.
Edit: Foot in mouth i realize after posting I’m in a lesbian community. Apologies.
lmao that edit is great
Well, the username checks out even more than usual!
Since I moved to a gayborhood I see a lot more cute guys
Gay dudes often take care of themselves in ways straight men don’t. Toxic masculinity is once again responsible for men not bringing out their true potential 😔
There’s also the slight differences in the way they carry themselves that you might not consciously notice but your brain definitely perceives.
Pseudo-straight pseudo-male here, I can say pretty confidently that I don’t think this is a toxic masculinity issue. Literally nobody ever taught me that it was important to be beautiful, I only figured that out myself as an adult.
I honestly think it’s kinda fucked up but it’s really a failing of society as a whole rather than masculinity in general. I find the whole thing really sick and it’s made me a bit antisocial. In public, women smile at me when I’ve shaved my face and they give me dead or suspicious eyes when I don’t. It just makes me feel like everyone is so fake. I rarely shave my face since realizing that because I want people to treat me how they would treat anyone rather than giving me special treatment because they’re vaguely attracted to me. I’ve gotten so sick with this that I find myself treating beautiful people worse. So uhh, factor that into your calculations. Is that toxic masculinity? I forgot where I was going with this.
My overweight fiancé can roll out of bed, without showering or brushing her teeth or anything, smelling like she sucked on a badger’s taint all night and she’s still hot. How many guys can you say that about?
I think that says more about your love for her than anything else. When you’re in deep love with someone, of course you will find them unbelievably beautiful. Don’t you find her more beautiful with each passing day as you fall deeper in love with her?
I’m not getting the comparison cuz, I switched the genders in my head and the answer is still “not many”.
I’m working in Vietnam at the moment, and there’s a higher proportion of men who present themselves well - tailored clothes, nicely cut hair, clean shaven - and it extends to how they carry themselves.
Being enby with an enby spouse I’m on the edge of lesbianism, but I gotta say a lot of these guys could flex my orientation if they wanted to.
Here in America it seems to be a virtue to be as boring and cookie cutter as possible
I’ve only met a handful of American guys; they typified everything about men that makes me feel unsafe, and also makes the idea of having any kind of relationship with one nauseating
Literally every guy I’ve ever found remotely attractive ends up not being a guy. Perhaps you’re just an egg detector?
My partner is the same way lmao! Every single time she finds a guy attractive they turn out to be gay or trans. She’s hit like 13 total and her longest streak is like 7 that didn’t even know at the time they dated including me.
Literally her first words after seeing a picture of me the first time was basically “I’m not sure how to ask this without sounding rude but, what kind of queer are you? Because I actually find you kind of attractive and apparently that doesn’t happen with guys.”
What’s really funny is as far as I knew at the time I was just a bi cis guy. I’d had a gender crisis in high school but only knew about the full binary options and girl felt just as wrong as boy but for different reasons. (Figured out later that was probably mostly due to me being ace and not knowing it). So I just gave up and said guess I’m just a guy that hates traditional masculinity and she shattered my worldview with a handful of words “that sounds like nonbinary to me” and I suddenly had some googling to do.
Lesbianism aside (I say, in a specifically lesbian community), I think it’s the patriarchy at work yet again. I’m pretty sure that a lot of men desire to be “pretty” or “cute”, but mainstream heteronormativity makes even small efforts in the direction of femininity a big deal.
No, it’s definitely laziness. People who want to look good put in the effort. People who don’t care just don’t bother. As a straight man, I’m proudly in the “don’t care” camp. I wash my hair when it gets greasy. I shave my face when it gets itchy. I go to the gym because I love food and don’t want to put on a ton of weight and have a heart attack at 45.
IMO, there’s a big difference between looking handsome and looking pretty or cute, especially for men who have more masculine features.
Can concur, currently I’d like to look pretty and cute, people around me encourage me to do that, people on the street or at work would not care if I did that. The only thing stopping me from looking good is my own lazy ass.
As a woman, yeah I describe myself as a lazy femme for a reason. When I’m going out I throw on makeup and put in effort, but for most things, nah I’m just throwing on jeans and a t-shirt
I guess in a lot of areas that’s true. Then again, my straight male coworkers dress up regularly and wear earrings and get their eyebrows done. I can’t tell who’s gay anymore. Send gay help. :(
I’m ok with this
So her ratio is like 700:1. I agree
Although I’m pansexual, it’s very rare to see attractive men IRL while I see hot or cute women pretty often
🤷♀️
Well, I personally believe we simply use different ways of making us look hot and that they are harder to communicate.
For example, we often get judged by how useful/handy we are. Emotional intelligence doesn’t show on your clothes; etc.
This a simple case of judging men by the standards of women, when they normally dont really care about them.
we often get judged by how useful/handy we are
After all, a toolbelt is a popular accessory in male striptease. Apparently an attractive characteristic in men is having a stable job.
Serious answer: because things are fucked up and men are allowed to look however they want, but women are forced to look all young and sexy
It’s even more fucked up: men can’t look however either but can’t venture too far into pretty. Men are far more likely to get flak for dressing pretty, wearing make up/nail polish and so on than for looking bland and generic. For true equality a man in a dress should be as normal as a woman in pants.
Well… yeah, this happens too. And I want to wear pink and smell like flowers, yet in some areas this would lead to trouble
I surely haven’t done that. The person who forced women to do that can come out and confess now.
Wait, how do you know!!!
It’s them!!! Get em!!!
Lol. I am quite sure that if I inspect my biography close enough, I will find instances where my behaviour amounted to that. Did I ever want that? No. Does this change the history? Also no
Edit: also. Do I see that I have much more socially acceptable freedom about my appearance than my wife about hers? Sure as hell yes
She looks like an old girlfriend of mine and it’s freaking me out!
Probably because i don’t go out that much.
Do you have 100 pretty women trapped in your house?…
not trapped per se, but it’s so hard to get them to leave once they laid eyes on me.
If she sees 100 cute women a day but no cute guys maybe she might swing that way
