One of my oldest friends told me about one of her fondest memories in life. I brought her to the beach one night. We talked for a bit and then we sat there in silence for a long while., doing nothing but feeling the salty breeze and sand between our toes, hearing the crash of the waves, and noticing the moment. She said I gave her a profound gift, just when she needed it. She told me this at least twenty five years after the fact, and I new exactly what night she meant.
Enjoy the silence.
Enjoy the silence
Hmmm, my Depeche Mode sense is tingling.
Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm.
That’s such a great song. I totally overlooked that song during the 80s, but now it’s like, wow, that was way better than I realized.
deleted by creator
That’s so sweet
To me that is an indication of a well established relationship. You can enjoy spending time with someone without feeling compelled to a performative kind of interaction. You can just both exist together and that is enough.
As a “neurotypical”, if I understand that term correctly, I can enjoy a conversation and silence alike without awkwardness. I’d rather have silence than to sit with someone who insists on filling every pause with meaningless chatter.
Same. This obsession with strict adherence to labels we give ourselves is boring and juvenile. Next, please.
It wouldn’t be a day in the life of a ND if I didn’t get called both boring and juvenile.
Well, possibly you’re not neurotypical?
One fun thing about autism is that it’s a very specific collection of several traits, and you can have most of them without being official.
We need to drop the idea that filling every moment of our waking life with chatter, TV, music, media, etc. is typical or even healthy.
How do you define neurotypical then?
Everything’s a spectrum… I find thing with stark lines that psychology draws is kind of silly.
But, in this case, I’d say the neurotypical thing is to find long silences awkward, and you’re not neurotypical with regard to this trait.
It’s interesting because a lot of people have the exact same problems relating to neurotypical society without qualifying for a diagnosis, yet those people get no protection, recognition, or accomodations.
But, in this case, I’d say the neurotypical thing is to find long silences awkward, and you’re not neurotypical with regard to this trait.
An uncomfortable silence, other than immediately after someone blurts out something offensive, is generally when there seems like there should be some kind of conversation. Most people will feel uncomfortable if there is something obvious prompting a reason to have a conversation, like hanging around each other at a social event. If nobody speaks it is awkward even for introverts since there is a clear expectation for interaction. Extroverts seem to have that same feeling even in contexts where there is no shared expectation for conversation, like on public transportation. Most people are fine with being silent in that context, so I would say being comfortable with silence on public transportation is neurotypical and it all depends on context.
Kinda sounds like neurotypical is a fallacy
Don’t take my label from me.
This doesn’t really track. Being able to sit in companiable silence is a classic goalpost for any good relationship.
We’ve sensed it coming and contemplated 50 ways to handle it by the time you notice it’s there.
Neurotypical here: in my experience it’s mostly people with anxiety or ADHD that can’t handle long silences.
An old boss of mine couldn’t make it 5.2 seconds of silence on a call without blurting out something including the phrase “awkward silence” and then being the only one to laugh at it
God I hate these calls. Then they say something like. Geez, you guys need to lighten up, after no one laughs at their corny busted ass jokes.
It’s like, nah bro. You could have sent an email, instead you are wasting our time.
According to The Guide, these people are telepaths. Their quiet moments are drowned out by the chattering of thousands of minds. So they have to talk constantly to keep from going mad.
Sweet, sweet silence.
ITT: Spock-types: as a non Spock-type, I can say that I am exactly like Spock. Here is a graduated list of why I think I’m a non Spock-type, in order of severity of overt presentation. This is followed by a list in the same format and spacing, of why I think everyone is a Spock-type.
Thank you. I shall now resume my focused studies. Conversation concluded.
I teach, and if I need to get students to speak up and answer to statistics practice problems, I just let us go silent for extended periods. It’s enough to crack them.
Funny enough, it’s usually the neurodivergent who answer in my other class, though (which is about neurodivergent children, lol).
Me and the cabbie each and every time.
