YOU ARE BUGS

Funny how when you’re a kid, you always wanted to be home alone, then when you reach adulthood, suddenly that shit aint funny anymore, it’s bleak…

I had this meme text-to-speech read to me while I was helping my parents carry a TV and something just clicked inside my brain, I suddenly felt the enlightenment, it all makes sense now!, I thought, so I immediately dropped the tv and went to pick up a small piece of the shattered glass on the ground. Such shiny little object… so cool.

Parents are mad, dunno why… I’m just following golden advice given by this comm…

Me:

1. Open Maps
2. Stare at it
3. Mentally think to my self this is my life now (say, I’m waiting at an appointment for something)
4. Press home buttom
5. Open App list
6. Scroll up and down
7. To back to home page
8. STARE at it, pretending I’m busy doing something
9. Oh shit maybe I should actually do something
10. Realize I actually haven’t taken the time to download anything beforehand
11. Downloads Lichess
12. Actually I wanna just browse wikipedia
13. Find an article for what stuff I have on my mind
14. STARE at it, pretending I’m reading an ebook
15. Actually I can’t focus, home screen again
16. Opens the notes app
17. • blank note
18. Hmm okay lets write a poem… how am I feeling right now…
19. Writes 1-2 line…
20. Fuck I can’t think of anything else… my head hurts…
21. Press homescreen
22. Stare at it for 10 seconds
23. Turn it off
24. Spin the phone around like a fidget spinner
25. Bored af

Recommendations?

Idk how to even get into listening to English-language music…

Should I spotify? But then again that’s corporate… I’d get cancelled here if I start using that…

How are you even supposed to… um… music?

I’m literally just listening to random Cantonese and Mandarin music on Youtube…

The only music I ever had at home was hearing my dad’s Cantopop… that’s my introduction to music…

(And also just random intrumental music I found online… like beetoven stuff)

So C-Pop is what I know most…

(The only English songs I know are stuff similar to “Because of You” by Kelly Clarkson, cuz I just wanted to find songs about the theme of shitty parenting… cuz I had problems with parents and need some songs like that for cartharisis)

Omg 🤣

My favorite Anime (well one of my favorites, not sure its its still at the top now)

I always imagined this idea of: me just randomly talk to foreigners in China… to see reactions… like… If I ever visit China, I’m straight up just gonna randomly walk up to English-speakers and be like “sup homie”

Might confused then for like a good few seconds since most people in China with an East Asian face does not have an American accent.

Pro Tip: Take long bathroom breaks at work and spend the time reading labor laws.

Hopefully when they start complaining about your bathroom breaks, you’ve already understood most of the labor laws to file a lawsuit against your shitty employer.

Okay my alts are:

@wongkakui@piefed.social

@wongkakui@quokk.au

@deathbybigsad@sh.itjust.works

Dunno how I upset you with this post, but go ahead… 🤷‍♂️

Aint no way, they spoke fake Mandarin 🤣

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-wbpZ7-5gQ

I watched like 2 clips and I already cringed the fuck out

Nah bruh, I went to 2 years of elementary school in China and watched a lot of Mandarin cartoons and TV shows, aint no way they did this…

So butchered…

I can feel the host cringing

This sounds like how American teachers tried to pronounce my name… 💀

(Okay it’s not fake-fake, just so awful you need a PhD in Chinese Language to understand it)

I have no idea what you mean. AFAIK China does not have healthcare for all, or free healthcare. But apart from that IDK how healthcare actually works in China.

Common rhetoric I get told in the Fediverse… I mean if you look in World News comms, you’ll see those…

Which just confuses the fuck out of me since its a contradiction to my parents first-hand accounts (and also some of what gets told by my aunts (and other relatives/people in my parent’s social circle in China))

“America” isn’t the only country with these issues

My family emigrated from China… its about the same on the other side of the ocean… (honestly don’t know what the “free healthcare in China” stuff came from… certaintly didn’t apply to my family from Taishan with Taishan Hukou)

They’re so used to this lol, they think this is just normal

Also: Young people are expected to fund their parents retirement… its a crime to just abandon your elderly parents who cannot afford their living (unless you have proof of abuse)

Great Firewall of Europe

So now Chinese who managed to bypass the firewall cannot access western sites behind Google’s new Captcha-wall?

Wow, great job, Google. 🙄

(I mean unless they managed to import a Googled-phone into China too)

Yea I know. I saw Project Hail Mary in an IMAX theater a month ago… so different…

So immersive…

Also so loud…

My favorite thing was that quiet sequence and the light flashing sequence

That was the first time I’ve been in a movie theater…

Also is this guy British? Lol, do British people talk like that. Its so funny to see them trying to be as insulting as possible while looking “professional” doing it. xD

Context:

8 years old was when my family immigrated to the US… probably also the factor of being in a foreign place…

Not sure if there any any immigrant parents that would just lets their kids roam free without supervision…

Noise-Cancelling Headphones…

not to mention any specific ones, just the general concept of it…

Everything sounds better, more immersive…

Also blocks out family arguments to varying degress of success depending on how much you spend on headphones…

Oh yea btw the first time I watched interstellar was on a cheap android phone with LCD 720p display using the phone speakers… 👀

On the other side of it, Bluetooth Speakers

Can sort of change the atmoshere of a room, feel slightly less “depressing”

“Earth Court? Mars Court? What Inner Court gives Belters justice?”

One of my most memorable quotes from The Expanse

Omg I thought a lot about wanting to be a parent.

The main thing I’m looking forward to is that same vibe I had with my mom…

Except this time. I can perfect it. I won’t make the same mistakes they did (Oh I’m gonna jinx it aren’t I)

This time it’d be from the other PoV… it’d be so interesting to be on the other side of the parent-child role… like you are the one that has knowledge about the world (including all the world’s cruelty) and have to shield the horrible truth and protect that childhood for as long as you can…

Also my parents are from Rural China, they didn’t have internet growing up…

They can’t really help with any homework lol

Not the math (not that I need help in math lmfao), but especially not any English related subjects…

But THIS TIME around, I can actually be like a teacher at home.

I feel like I have this weird “quest” or “challenge” of wanting to “prove” to my parents that I can be a better parent than they were…

They never told me much useful knowledge about politics…

My older brother is very into conspiracy theories and racial supremacy… (even tho we are minorities in our current country)

One thing is tho: I have no idea if I can even pass down Cantonese…

It’s gonna be kinda sad if I become like this “bridge”…

Like my grandparents speak Taishanese as their first language, then I guess Cantonese, then Mandarin…

I guess my parents also use Taishanese primarily to their parents, but somehow, they have this genious idea of NEVER TEACHING ME TAISHANESE…

So yea, I kinda see a vision of the future from my past

2 Generations ago: Taishanese-Primary, Cantonese + Mandarin Secondary

1 Generation ago: Taishanese-Childhood language, Cantonese-Primary, Mandarin Secondary

Me: Cantonese-Childhood language, Mandarin-Primary for about K-2, then English slowly took over and became the new Primary…

Taishanese is just a Heritage language in the distant memory…

Barely know Taishanese…

Prediction:

Next Gen: English-Childhood Language??? Then Cantonese become their “I know it but not much” Heritage language type of thing?

Then they only hear me talking to my parents in Cantonese, the its English at home? Just like right now its Cantonese at home and I onlg hear Taishanese when my parents talk to their parents…

Welp thanks for reading my random family language trivia…

Wanna bet if I can retain Cantonese?

I mean even if so, they probably wouldn’t be able to read Chinese… characters be hard lol…

Also to wrap up this comment:

I really hope I can teach my children to not be dickheads to new immigrants… I remember so many American-Born Chinese bullied me for being “Fresh off the boat” and not speaking any English…

None of my cousins that were born in the US really wanna befriend me…

I’m gonna be so sad if my children becomes one of those kids that bullied me when I was new to the country…

Lol. My mom didn’t give me permission to be outside by myself until like 6th grade when she finally signed the permission papers to let me walk home from school by myself. (6th grade is still considered Elementary school where I live, still required parents to pick up as a standard protocol)

Cuz she was afraid of (a) kidnappings and (b) that someone would report it and then “CPS would come and take me away and I’d never see mom again”

That was like when I was 12 years old… whats that in Cat Years?

Oh the “hold your child’s (read: cat) hands (read: paws) when crossing the street” is gonna get a bit weird… (you’re gonna get scratched by “your child” (aka: cat))

Funny enough, I just read a wikipedia article with “Japanese” and “Javanese” in the same sentence… kinds breaks your brain a little lol