Today, my partner, who took a week off work to play video games, asked me if I was going to do the grocery shopping.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Hey, they took that week off to play video games, not to go grocery shopping.
My blood boils for you
If you said no, do you think they would have done the groceries?
Have they done the same amount of chores at home during their vacation, than they would do when they are working? I dont think one person being on the vacation should mean they need to do every chore at home.
If they have done less than normally then i fully understand the frustration, but if they have done their part, or more than that i think its selfish to think that they should be doing everything.
Given the context is clear, how come you’re using the abstract pronoun?
I don’t see how the context is clear
Fair enough. I guess my education was of a higher level.
I would love to hear you explain your train of tought here.
I mean they refer to their partner so there is no way of deducting the gender.
And they only refer to singular event, so it is impossible to know if they have only played the whole week or if the original commentter just got frustrated about the one thing.
I would also love to know what education level you are talking about, where jumping in to conclusions from incomplete data is acceptable reason to act superior.
Honestly - I don’t know. I could swear that is not the comment I was replying to, but it’s doesn’t appear to have been edited.
Sorry.
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Wow. I’m sure plenty of folk here are high-fiving this guy for what they strangely perceive as just a dude living his best life, but personally I think that’s selfish AF.
So, did you?
Yes, I had to run an errand anyway, but I was still annoyed by the question because he didn’t know that.
I do all the laundry, clean the kitchen and empty/fill the dishwasher. I’ve got a bit of a routine and it works. She cooks and does the bathrooms. Division of labour is the key. Took us a few years and many arguments to settle into our lanes and now it’s fine.
the battle lines were drawn with soap
We both do everything. I just do extra unfucking the dishwasher, I swear when she loads it, it’s as if someone broke into our home and just put shit wherever. Other than that, allllll goooooood.
Which one of you is on bad guy/dragon duty?
Again, division of labour. It varies depending on when or by whom we’re attacked, but generally I have a baseball bat and she wields an enchanted sword.
Solution, get you a girl that’s messier than you. My house is a shit hole, but we are still in love.
That worked fine until kids, now it’s like trying to manage a barn
I haven’t gone that far yet, I always imagined a cordoned-off area of safety. I’m just now realising how stupid I was. I hope you all make it. 🫶
Que sera! My house is a disaster, and we pick it up once a week only to have it disasterize itself again in a couple days anyway. And we harp on the kids, but in the same way my folks harped on me, so obviously it’s just in my genes and so fuck it.
My house is also spotless if we have people by, but during the week, things just pile up, and we just keep our heads above water.
Fuck washing dishes. That is why we invented dishwashers
Loading the dishwasher is its own battle.
sexism intensifies
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There aren’t many dragons around here. We’re too quiet to attract the attention of bad guys. However, I both do laundry and load the dishwasher. I’m also the cook. Been doing this since well before I retired. One of my sociology students actually told me it was “gay.”
I enjoy the cleaning. It gives me purpose and makes me feel useful.
You could ask far, far worse of me.
Mmm love it when the straights air out their middle school level problems on social media
Love it that lemmy is the most toxic place on the internet
I hear you, but other than the occasional odd-ball bandying around terms like “the straights”, there’s definitely worse places.
While I wouldn’t call it a straight or middle school thing, I would consider it highly toxic to post your relationship issues online instead of discussing them with your spouse and fixing/ending the relationship.
Oh I think Reddit wins that category
Sorry to be like this but im sure an argument like this would be thrown your way if this was posted in a big enough room.
Isn’t this how we function evolutionarily? Like in a hunter and gatherers society, men were predominantly the ones required to do “one-hit” labour like hunting, whereas women were predominantly the ones doing “continual” labour like gathering food.
This also reflects in our bodies in many ways like our risk tolerance and physiological stuff. There are 2 types of muscles in human body, one that are needed for quick one-off work and other that are good for continual work. And men have the “one-hit” type more and women the other type. Afaik, this also shows up in endurance training and strength training. Men are generally more capable in strength one, while women are more capable in endurance.
So going by the principle of “to each acc to their capability, to each acc to their need”, it would mean that women should do more of folding sheets while men should do more “dragon killing”
Look, to all you fellow men out there, includes you little shit gen z’s that think women are possessions. JUST FUCKING HELP LOAD DISHES AND FOLD LAUNDRY. Its easy, helps your partner and just makes you a better human.
Yeeeeeaaaah, comments like this was exactly why i said sorry first. Help your partners folks!
It is a myth, that men were the only ones hunting, so maybe it needs a different explanation.
Also one of the defining traits of our species is our propensity to try varied means of social organization. To act like hunter gatherer H. sapiens were all modeling their societies the same way in regards to gendered division of labor flies in the face of what has been observed in the historical and archeological records.
The Dawn of Everything goes heavily into this and is a fascinating book
@captainlezbian @laughingsquirrel this is quite interesting
May read that eventually (if I finish my other books)I highly recommend it. I’ve been on a Graeber kick lately and the whole book has been just challenging the assumptions baked into anthropology in a way that’s making me reevaluate how society can work and how I see people of the past
@captainlezbian woah that sounds cool
This is the third paragraph from the article you provided “Researchers found the female body was better suited for endurance activity…”
Which is what my explanation is based on
Humans were persistence hunters which requires endurance. Lots of strength isn’t really necessary when the prey has exhausted itself.
Im not gonna continue further, already made too many people “angry”. Somehow this convo became about humans being hunters and what not. And not the original conversation about dishes and dragons.
My whole point was about women having different physiology than men. Please fight the scientists who are researching this, not me.
Your comment did frustrate me at first but I do think you were trying to have a legitimate discussion on the topic and not trolling. I’ve been on that end of a conversation before and it’s discouraging.
Your point about physiology isn’t necessarily wrong but I would point out that different types hunting would be better suited for different genders.
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If you need to be able to chase down your prey, women are better suited for cardio and endurance.
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If you need to overpower your prey, men are traditionally more suited.
I’m guessing which gender did what was probably completely dependent on the prey available in your specific ecosystem, along with local culture.
But referring back to the original topic, both men and women are capable of care-taking or providing for their family. That’s backed up by archeological studies like this one.
Women, such as myself, are likely frustrated by your questions because many men in our lives use this type of argument as an excuse to avoid responsibility. Because this is a text based forum, I think we miss the body language that would come with your trying to ask an earnest question and automatically assume the worst.
Yes very true. Body language is super important in conversations like this.
For me what felt strange is that, I am a propnent of sharing household responsibilities between men and women equally. So basically equality despite difference in capability. But then, when it comes to society in general, I don’t believe in equal responsibility ie rich and privilegded ppl should have more responsibility than underprivileged. And this makes me feel like a hypocrite you know?
On one example, I am thinking of equality and the other proportionality.
I guess my idealogy is still incomplete.
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I was not angry with my original reply, it could jot in anyway be reasonably taken as angry. I am however a bit frustrated now, in particular with your response to me. To quote what you said,
“Somehow this convo became about humans being hunters and what not. And not the original conversation about dishes and dragons.”
To also quote you’re first comment you said,
“Isn’t this how we function evolutionarily? Like in a hunter and gatherers society, men were predominantly the ones required to do “one-hit” labour like hunting, whereas women were predominantly the ones doing “continual” labour like gathering food.”
You are the one who brought it up. Saying it “somehow” came up like you did is disingenuous and implies my argument is unrelated and can therefore be dismissed.
That is what is now making me a bit frustrated and why I felt it necessary to clear up the way you misconstrued things in your reply to me.
You are free to not respond if you do not want to. If you don’t want to continue I will respect that.
I also want to make sure that everyone reading this understands that them not replying or wanting to end the discussion should not be taken to mean anything one way or another.
I feel bad for making you frustrated. It wasn’t my intention. I think these text based format just makes things weird for us. You sound like someone I could have had a nice conversation on this topic without frustrations if we were discussing IRL.
For what its worth, my original intent was to discuss different approaches to distribution of labour rather than talking about hunter gatherer society. I have weird way of talking where i can’t help but justify my reasoning, so hunters gatherer was the justification for different physiology. And different physiology was the setup for the discussion on distribution of labour.
What I found strange about myself is that I (and so many others including you) believe in equal distribution of labour in household despite having different physiology. But I support proportional distribution of labour when it comes broader society ie rich and priviledge should contribute more than poor and underpriviledged.
And I kinda find this strange about myself (also generally) that we have different views when looking at society versus household.
If i make a claim that we can’t know actual capability between a couple therefore equal distribution of labour is fair then a similar argument can be made about rich vs poor.
Anyways, I have a bad habit of making everything too political, this is a meme community so maybe i need to dial down that political side of me.
I think the heart of the difference between our views from what I’ve been able to understand from you is this. You view biological differences between men and women as having a sufficient enough reason to support gender roles if in the event the capability of a couple is known.
I view the biological differences as something that should only be considered from a health perspective I.e. crash test dummy’s designed for men and ones designed for women to ensure proper safety testing.
For me the biological differences shouldn’t be considered whether we know a couple’s capabilities or not. Humans are an extremely varied species with lots of overlap between women and men.
There are women who are tall and muscular and men who are short and skinny. There are men who are tall and skinny and women who are short and muscular.
Ultimately the biggest factor is lifestyle and not genetics. A female firefighter could absolutely out strength many males even if she’s short because she works out regularly.
In short I don’t think biological differences are significant enough to be taken into actual consideration outside of specific circumstances like described above. While you as I understand it do believe them to be significant enough a factor to be given consideration if the differences between a couple are known.
Women weren’t really just gathers. The Hunter-Gatherer isn’t exactly right.
Men are hunters, women are gatherers. That was the assumption. A new study upends it.
Classic manbaby David
At least when you kill bad guys and dragons, they stay dead. The trouble with folding dishes and washing clothes is that it keeps needing to be done.
Welcome to being human, adulthood and cleaning up after yourself.
I refuse.
Ok incel
What a comeback, you’re such a good boy! Look at you, well trained and shit.
Better than a misogynist.
Not the insult you think it is.
Better than a misogynist
So you’re well trained and delusional, got it.
Good luck, hopefully being well trained pays off.
One of these days I’m going to finally win at cooking so that I don’t need to do it ever again, which will also cover dishes. Then it’s time to really grind laundry until I do the same there. Don’t give up!
My story’s infinite. Like the laundry, it’s infinite, it doesn’t rest.
That’s not true. I put dirty dishes in the sink and next day, they are clean in the closet.
And even novice necromancers can only raise a body once according to the rules I’ve made up just now
And more expirence necromancers can raise bodies more times, but eventually they’ll get discouraged
‘diminishing returns’ lol
Sisyphus, that bastard with his tasks!
And you cant defeat that boss, no no, that boss is well beyond epic tier and you have to game the system to defeat him.
Which… women pick up. Because it happens more than enough.
this is probably what meat loaf meant when he said he won’t do that
Yeah. You need to listen to the lyrics a few get it.
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Hahahahahahahah
Folding laundry is basically like fighting a dragon. These damn fitted sheets, man.
But I gotta do what I gotta do. These dragons aren’t gonna fight themselves.
Do adults really not know how to find fitted sheets? You fold it basically like a regular sheet, but tuck the corners inside each other.
I watched a video once and it was like 17 steps to do it so I couldn’t actually follow it. I did get the put the corners inside each other part though, and if you do that it gets you at least somewhat folded enough to stack with the rest of them.
fitted sheets you say ? this is why i have a gf /s
Oh… Finally I understand the meaning of the english “fitted sheet”. Thank you stranger!
Or you can do the parachute fold. And then fold it regular after it’s a tube
I roll mine like a little sausage. They don’t wrinkle and it’s fast. Also I suck at folding.
I prefer the “fold it haphazardly, stuff it in the drawer, and I don’t care if it’s wrinkled when it goes on the bed next time” method, myself.
Whenever I tuck the corners into each other I end up with a lumpy irregular polygon which can’t be folded neatly like flat sheets
If you pull up the fitted part, you can establish parallel sides so you can form it into a rectangle that can be folded neatly
“Pull up” like three dimensionally? I do the best I can to square the blob up but always end up with too much fabric on the fitted corner to get a clean neat fold.
I’m the designated one who “knows how to fold fitted sheets” in our household btw 🤣
Yes, three dimensionally. Pull it up, and make a fold from the sewn point of the fitted corner parallel to one folded edge, and then the other edge likewise parallel to the remaining side. Now that you have a nice rectangle, lay the bunched portion down as flat as you can, and continue folding. Ta-dah.
I’ve learned how; can’t speak for everyone though. But they’re the ones that take the longest time due to the intricacy.
I’m also very meticulous about folding laundry, so everything fits nice and tidy in the linen closet.
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You can block them so you don’t have to see it.
If what they’re doing is egregious, against community or instance rules, stalking, harassing, etc you can report them which notifies the mods of the community the post or comment is in, the admins of the instance of the community the post or comment is in, and the admins of the user’s instance.
Edit: Found the context- https://lemmy.world/comment/23272922
If you feel that he implied you were a pedophile, and he disagrees, then fucking report it to mods/admins and let them sort it. I’m not seeing anything but bog standard responses to some of your posts that you respond to with your little copy pasted message. I could understand if they kept making references to it, but I don’t see where it’s been brought up where you didn’t.
Just report and block and move on with your life.
That’s not the full context. That’s just their version.
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For the record: I do not believe you’re a pedophile.
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Glad to straighten that out given your history.
You don’t just “act not seriously”, you are actively being a prick. You called me sexist for calling out your sexist meme, and your said with no basis that you think I don’t want to see women in memes.
Then you were a dick to everyone talking to you.
You aren’t just “being silly” like you claimed.
Let’s get the full story from both sides. You’re no saint.
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Have you considered going out, breathing some fresh air, maybe just walk, or go to a café, or a bar…?
That should help put things back into perspective.
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No, that wasn’t the only thing. You were being a dick towards everyone in those comments.
You’re also a very frequent poster on /memes, so you’re gone live with me interacting with the posts and that’s that.
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I’m not trolling though, I’m just participating in the community, which is my right. 🤷♂️
That’s not how any of this works.
Seems like a strong overreaction, any additional context to share?
Found the context: https://lemmy.world/comment/23272922
The contract you were provided is not the full context, but just their version of what happened.
Terribly sorry, I can’t help with this.
How often will you ever fight a dragon? Once, maybe?
Fuck folding sheets because someone else wants it done, 3 times a week for the next 40 years.
Not even close to being the same.
3 times a week… you’re showing your relationship issues a bit there by not knowing how basic human chores work.
What’s the correct amount of sheets to fold a week?
About a much as a banana costs.
You sure are judgy in this comment section
It does come across a bit “how much could a banana cost” to anyone who’s actually doing washing in a relationship.
Considering how much we sweat in our sleep and whatever else people do on their sheets. 3 times per week isn’t really that extreme. Not that I change my sheets that often, but I really probably should.
I’m willing to bet it’s pretty far off the norm, I’m sure there are people who do but even the most cleanliness obsessed person I know isn’t changing them that often.
Sweating that much in your sleep is not as common as you think.
I’ve met few people who do sweat so much if they are heavy drinkers at night though. I have an ex that started drinking heavy when his best friend died and you could see the sweat stains in the morning. Never used to be like that before he started drinking. Thankfully he was raised to do his own laundry like any capable adult should. Didn’t save the mattress though.
Even medically with dust allergies they perscribe to change once a week. Weirdly they print it out too to hand it to you like it’s a guide.
And I’ll take that over being an entitled asshole towards their wife any time.
Next!
Who is washing sheets 3 times a week? I can see once a week, but more than that is too much.
I mean, if I had to fight a dragon, it definitely wouldn’t happen more than once
It’s kinda nice if you consider the electrical box or the unmowed lawn as a dragon.
We just split responsibilities by our ability and our schedule, and communicate to get it done. Somedays I have more stamina and headspace to do certain things and vice versa… sometimes we give up until tomorrow if it isn’t urgent. It’ll get done one way or another, and then we can goof off a bit together.
Those aren’t regularly serviced like eating several times a day and wiping ass though
