A Republican candidate for Congress offered up his analysis of human sexuality and gender on Tuesday, in a group interview with South Florida’s Sun-Sentinel editorial board, alongside two other Republicans running to represent House District 20 in Broward County.
“You never see a giraffe, a male giraffe, that mate(s) with a giraffe,” Rod Joseph said. “Myself right now saying, ‘I am a giraffe,’ that doesn’t mean it’s true.”
Everyone is “born straight,” he offered.
The unusual assertion was made in answer to a question about U.S. Rep. Andy Ogles (R-TN) declaration at the beginning of Pride Month, “Homosexuality has no place in America.”
Republicans will claim that giraffes aren’t gay and then shoot them anyway.
Plenty of queer animals throughout the animal Kingdom.
Tell that to Proximo, dude.
Those giraffes you sold him, they won’t mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold him… queer giraffes. He wants his money back.
Sir, how many giraffes did you survey to come to this conclusion?
survey
Computer, zoom in, decode, and enhance.
have sex with
I wish I knew how to get people to care about things that actually matter even 10% as much as they care about things that will never, ever affect their lives in any material way… and are also NONE OF THEIR GODDAMNED FUCKING BUSINESS.
Why do you care if someone likes dick?
I wish I knew how to get people to care
So much of the anti-LGBTQ hysteria comes from people who are in immediate proximity to friends and loved ones coming out of the closet. And while the natural response to this occurrence is to show love and support, we have a deluge of misinformation that’s designed to poison people into believing the most insane bullshit.
Which is to say, people do care. But they tend to get their heads scrambled with reactionary media. And the end result is that, after hearing for decades “if you’re gay then you’ve become the victims of sexual assault and you’re going to do drugs and you’ll get horrible diseases that will kill you”, they respond with abject horror at the slightest hint of queerness. Same if you see a sibling or a child or (god fucking forbid) a parent or spouse show signs of it.
The end result of this firehose of induced anxiety, combined with the economic pressures of poverty and the social pressures of fascist religious institutions, is incoherent panic.
Why do you care if someone likes dick?
Because then they’ll make you like dick and liking dick will kill you and damn your soul in a lake of fire for eternity.
Because he likes dick, I guarantee it.
“You aren’t born liking dick. You choose to like dick, just like I’m choosing not to like dick. I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t”
“You aren’t born liking dick. You choose to like dick, just like I’m choosing not to like dick. I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t like dick, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t”
He says to himself while gargling balls in a public restroom.
I mean if he stays away from the dick and just gargles the balls, maybe he really doesn’t like dick
(He’s still lying to himself and self-loathing, but what if?)
I do like balls, I don’t like dick, I do like balls, I don’t like dick, I do like grglgrglgrgl…vote for me!
Why do you care if someone likes dick?
Because they do too but were told it’s bad.
I’m guessing religion.
Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.
If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.
Referencing:
Genesis 19:5–8
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”
Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”
And:
Genesis 19:12–13
The two men said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”
And:
Genesis 19:24–25:
Then the Lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the Lord out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
I’m guessing religion.
Religion is the excuse, not the cause. There’s a fair number of religious institutions which are queer friendly or at least queer-indifferent. You gravitate towards the religious group that echoes your own biases. Those biases aren’t imbued by some supernatural force. They’re the result of material incentives and social divides that demagogues exploit when they fashion a religious doctrine.
Most of that is just Sodom and Gomorrah. God has more to say about what to do with slaves and how to treat them compared to sexual relations between two people.
Iirc that might have been mistranslated and it actually meant don’t rape male children.
Well, yes, I personally have never seen a male giraffe mate with another male giraffe. I’ve never seen a male and a female giraffe mate, either. In fact I’ve never seen a giraffe in the wild at all.
So I’m gonna take this one step further and say giraffes don’t exist in the wild. Every giraffe that exists lives in zoos because that’s the only place I, personally, have ever seen them. Any evidence to the contrary is fake news.
Am I Republicaning correctly?
Close. You have to make a bold claim that combines those 2 unrelated topics. Something like…“The fact that I have only seen gay giraffes exist while in captivity proves that being gay is unnatural. I’m 100% positive every giraffe outside of Zoos are banging the Lord’s way.”
I have never personally witnessed two Floridians having sex. Therefore we can conclude that Floridians don’t procreate and thus Florida can only sustain its population by illegally importing hordes of immigrants. The American federal government should arrest the entire Floridian government to put an end to this.
You are absolutely right!
I wish I could just start a country and allow politicians to rule it but whenever one of them says anything about sexuality or immigrants it’s just straight to the guillotine.
Well maybe we can just start doing that regardless of whether or not we start a new country first.
I’d approve of that. Everyone who wants to mess with personal relationships or push fear of new arrivals deserves as much.
Aren’t giraffes known for being the most gay out of almost all animal species? Or am I thinking of another animal?
They are, yes.
This is like saying Liberace proves gay people are all actually straight.
I think he’s saying that it’s an acquired taste
Dolphins too.
https://slrpnk.net/post/40047735/23228566
There we go someone beat me to it lmao
Of course this is in my backyard. God i hate this ass backwards state. I cant wait to escape Floriduh but the system just keeps keeping me down.
The white sand beaches are pretty nice, IMHO.
https://www.visitflorida.com/travel-ideas/articles/florida-white-orange-dark-sand-beaches/
Much of the sand on Florida beaches is made up of quartz crystals, produced by the weathering of continental land masses like the Appalachian mountains. The quartz is washed down America’s great rivers into the Atlantic and the Gulf where it’s carried onto the beaches by water currents and waves.
If you wind up leaving, enjoy its strengths now.
The nature here is the only reason i didn’t leave years ago. The beaches are great, the everglades are amazing. Hell, i even really enjoy our scrub forests. Id miss it for sure but its getting bad here.
Meanwhile, Grindr profile views and hookups peak every time there’s a Republican held convention.
It’s only gay if the balls touch your chin.
No, that’s fine. It’s only gay if you don’t yell “no homo” before deepthroating that thing. Science, y’know
It’s just a brojob, nothing serious.
It doesn’t count if it’s just the tip!
Licking precum isn’t gay, guys!
Giraffes are famous for engaging in extensive same-sex behavior. Studies have documented that up to 94% of observed mating-like activity happens between males, often involving intense caressing, “necking” (rubbing necks), and mounting
Of course they’re necking.
The giraffes are keeping all of the gay to themselves so humans can’t have any
“You never see a giraffe, a male giraffe, that mate(s) with a giraffe,” Rod Joseph said.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals
Giraffes
Further information: Giraffe § Necking
Male giraffes have been observed to engage in remarkably high frequencies of homosexual behavior. After aggressive “necking”, it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each other, leading up to mounting and climax. Such interactions between males have been found to be more frequent than heterosexual coupling.[95]
I would imagine most giraffes, male or otherwise, mate with giraffes.
I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here as to meaning, as the second part of his statement is even more incoherent if not, given context. I’m assuming that he just misspoke.
“Myself right now saying, ‘I am a giraffe,’ that doesn’t mean it’s true.”
I don’t see as how his giraffe-ness would have much bearing on homosexuality, otherwise.
He’s making an aside to denigrate otherkin because he doesn’t know the difference between gay people and otherkin. After all, we’re both queer.
I’ve never heard of otherkin before today. The more you know
Oh, boomer conservatives heard about otherkin back in the 90s around the time of the elfinkind usenet forums and mailing lists. And they’ve been malding about us ever since. A lot of them encountered otherkin around the same time as trans people, and to them, transness is an extension of otherkinity.
Historically, otherkin communities have argued that self-identity is more important than the veil of material reality. Although today many neoliberal trans groups are realist and conform to reality, in the boomer conservative mind, the queer movement has always sought the downfall of mundane human reality. And I say: good. Fuck this socially hegemonic subjective consensus reality presented by the modernists as objective. I seek a future age in which humanity use reality’s inherent subjectivity to manipulate reality, and thus become as gods. The rich are going to manipulate our subjectivities to support their capitalist reality either way. It’s time for the working class to take this power back for ourselves.
Hell yeah. For some reason my soul is the shape of an amorphous cloud. Like a nebula, or a fart. It has its pros and cons, but it is what it is, I haven’t figured out anyway to change it.
I never thought maybe others would have different shapes or forms, that’s super interesting.
Allegedly.
Except with the occasional sick ostrich.
and probably some sexually repressed republicans.
Unless they get raped by Republican politicians.
“Oh, no. Facts!” Rod Joseph shrieked in horror.
This is why they want to dismantle Wikipedia, by the way.
I wonder where he got the giraffes example from. It feels to like it was chosen on purpose. Uneducated people won’t fact check it and the fact checkers cause social media engagement.
Not sure, but I would NOT be surprised if got this from a Hovind. The morons who say bananas disprove evolution and dinosaurs prove the flood. Gods , but I wish I was making that up
Probably just the first animal he thought of that he didn’t see homosexual behavior of in videos before, seeing how common it is in documentaries about most felines or apes. It happens so much that it’s difficult for the cameramen not to film. 😅
Lions, Giraffes, Bonobos and Tigers, oh my!
So what Joseph is basically doing is coming out of the closet saying “I’m straight as a giraffe.”
Kinda cute.
Giraffes, the gayest species.
That dude definitely wants to fuck a giraffe.
You mean get fucked by a giraffe. It’s always the people who are religiously sexually repressed and in reality really, really crave the largest cock their assholes can take.
To be fair, giraffes are stupid sexy. 🦒
I love how all these conservatives have medical degrees and specialties. I had no idea that we had so many doctors in the US. Where is our free healthcare if we have such a surplus of ‘expert’ medical professionals???
Quite a lot of them are chiropractors, osteopaths and other para-medical “degree” holders. Not to mention the ones who have real medical degrees, but are certified by dodgy boards that they set up themselves, like Rand Paul.
