It’s 1992. Your mom just took you through the Dairy Queen drive in after supper. It was 30C today, and it’s going to be 35C tomorrow. You’re going to go swimming at the local outdoor pool with your mom, little brother, auntie and favourite cousin, tomorrow though. Mom will probably put on that Blue Rodeo tape on the way back. It’s not your favorite, but you find yourself waiting for the song hooks.
Life is simple and life is good.
I’d like to take a moment to dispel some of the claims being made in this comment thread.
Modern cars are significantly more reliable than older cars by virtually every measurable metric. They are unquestionably more difficult to work on, but they also break down far less often.
The safety features on modern vehicles are light-years ahead of anything available in the '80s or '90s. Emissions are also dramatically lower than they were back then.
A lot of people in the comments have already pointed this out.
That said, older cars were undeniably easier to work on in many respects.
Older cars could survive a wreck while their occupants didn’t. Newer cars are designed to protect the occupants by destroying themselves.
It’s a real Facebook Boomer meme to show a picture of a fifty year old car that’s been in a crash with a modern car with the caption “see what we lost they dont make them like they used to?” but totally ignoring that the people in the BeigeWagon were turned into lasagna while the passengers of the Wokemobile will complete their journey with bruises and a taxi.
IDK why (I mean I guess cause he was a good teacher) but our drivers ed teacher taught us about crumple zones and all other sorts of things, there were 8 weeks of classroom instruction in high school whether you were planning on driving or not.
Older cars also looked nicer. Yes our cars are better, and I will probably never own a classic car. The Chevrolet Bel Air looks way better than any car built in the last 10 years, and it’s a metal death trap.
It’s 1992. Your mom takes you to Dairy Queen in her oldsmobile. She lights up a cigarette. She asks if you want one. You say no. She says stop acting like such a pussy. You take the cigarette. She lights it for you.
She throws her empty bud can out the window and hands you two dollars to get a blizzard
You walk into the Dairy Queen. A group of teenagers are smoking in a booth. One of them ashes their cigarette into a Dairy Queen-branded ashtray on the table.
Smoke up, Johnny!
It’s 1992. Your mom just took you through the Dairy Queen drive in after supper. It was 30C today, and it’s going to be 35C tomorrow, but you’re an American child in 1992 and have no idea what that means in Freedom Units.
This is super convoluted to some people, but its the easiest way for my weird American brain to convert it on the fly:
- 2*°C=ans1
- ans1—(0.1*ans1)=ans2
- ans2—32=°F
The conversion most sources give you is:
(9/5)*°C—32=°F
But I find it easier to break it down into those 3 simple steps. If you’re the kind of person who calculates 20% of X in two steps [20%*X=(0.1X)*2], you might also like my weird method of converting °C to °F.
My method:
Water freezes at 0°C (about 30°F) and boils at 100°C (about 210°F).
100°F is about half way between those two numbers on the Fahrenheit scale, but closer to the lower one.
On the Celsius scale I would describe 40°C the same way.
100°F ≈ 40°C
This is a mild tangent but I learned how to convert celsius to fahrenheit because of a Codename: Kids Next Store episode that I watched once wherein a character says “30c, 30 celsius that’s like 80 degrees fahrenheit”. Which is honestly not the weirdest thing to learn from but it is my number one.
but it is my number one.
You mean your numbuh one.
I walked right into that one didn’t I.
You’re in the middle of death valley in a heat wave.
It’s hotter than Venus outside.
Your mom turns the AC on low.
The 17.4L V8 Gas Guzzler super-extra-big-block engine bogs an imperceptible amount
The weapons grade CFCs—now banned by the Geneva convention—form icicles on your eyebrows in seconds.
One of the weird problems car guys ran into in the 1990’s was cars with non-functional R12 A/C. If you had one that had lost it’s gas, that was it unless you could find someone’s forgotten stash of white cylinders or wanted to circulate high pressure propane in front of and around an internal combustion engine.
Nowadays it’s easy enough to change it over to R134a.
1984 LTD Crown Victoria, White with red velour interior. I closed that door (which looks a lot like this door) on my hand and it locked. Mom had already gone inside and there i was screaming bloody murder in the front yard. She eventually came out and unlocked the door and got me out. Somehow it didn’t break my hand, probly because children are made of rubber or something. Theres no point to this other than sharing my unlocked PTSD that this image unlocked.
The average new car weighs more than the famously heavy Oldsmobile 98.
If you’re not even 50 yet and already falling into nostalgia traps seek help.
I don’t need help. I need a systemic revamp of our political and financial systems, and for terrible things to happen to billionaires.
You will most likely need help making those things happen.
… and my axe?
No. Stop. Novelty accounts ruined reddit.
I know you’re just memeing, but we will have officially jumped the shark when they start showing up
And it smelled like 20-year-old cigarette smoke
Modern cars smell like Axe body spray, weed, and social anxiety.
Two outta three ain’t bad, I don’t think I’ve purchased Axe since 2007. The car I drive now was only made one year later lol, and I didn’t get it until a decade after that. I guess I’ve never had a modern car.
If you lose the detachable ashtray, you have to just use the ashtray hole and blow it out every once in a while.
And it probably still works
They sell “fucking cars” now?
What do think self-driving is all about?
I drive electric.
My step-uncle had one of these. He almost never pulled it out and certainly would not have let icecream anywhere near the thing.
My buddy got one of these handed down to him and this is no lie.
The 1992 Oldsmobile Cutlass cruiser had a curb weight of almost 4,500 lb. Compare that to my Subaru WRX, which is fairly heavy for a modern car and has a curb weight of less than 3,500 lb…
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