I do. Happened a couple of months after moving in with my boyfriend. We were both still getting used to our new bed or at least, I was. It still wasn’t “mapped” in my brain.
We were getting frisky one day and we decided to have some fun. We were making out and he was slowly inching me towards the edge of the bed. I was facing him, kissing him, not looking at the bed. As soon as he thought I was close enough to the bed, he grabbed me and basically lovingly threw me on the bed…
…except that I wasn’t close enough 😂. My tailbone and the hard, wooden bed frame made contact…and I was in a lot of pain.
I didn’t hear any cracks, which was good, but it hurt like hell. He took me to the hospital where a young male doctor saw me. He asked me to explain what had happened, so I said, beet red and with embarrassment written all over my face:
Me: “I…h-hit my butt on the w-wooden bed frame…” (blushes and hides face in hands)
Him: “You…hit your…butt? On the bed frame?”
And he looked at me with this expression…it was a mix of “Are you crazy?” while also trying to stop himself from laughing, holding on for dear life trying to stay professional. Looking back now, it was fucking hilarious 😂. I ended up getting an X-ray of my pelvis and I was just fine. But damn was I pissed at my bf for a while, for putting me through that 🤣
Another one I have is shorter and probably not as amusing, but here goes. We were visiting Prague together, staying at one of my bf’s friend’s. His apartment had a shower. Magical, cause we only have a bathtub and it sucks ass.
Anyway, sometime during the evening, we decided to have some fun, and of course we wanted to take advantage of the spacious, comfortable shower instead of our cramped, small bathtub. So we get in, he’s behind me and we start going at it. Both of my hands are on the wet wall, which did not offer much in the way of support. This position, combined with my bf’s enthusiastic thrusts and also all of the wet and slippery surfaces soon caused me to lose balance…which would have probably been fatal in that situation.
Naturally, I got a massive adrenaline rush and quickly grabbed onto the faucet for support, to stop myself from falling. However, with that jolt of adrenaline came lots of tension…and with my bf still inside of me, I squeezed him HARD. He almost cried out, from surprise and also the sudden, hard, unrelenting SQUEEZE.
We had to stop after that, because I didn’t want to risk falling again and my bf wasn’t in the mood anymore. He later told me that I “Almost bit his dick off”, which is a funny way to put it 😂. We both had a laugh about it later, but in the moment, he was NOT pleased lol
I’m interested in hearing your experiences tho. Please share what you feel comfortable with ❤️
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Posted this not too long ago, but new audience, sooooo…
Lady friend and I are going at it, she’s on the edge of the bed and I’m standing up. Had just finished warming her up with oral and getting to the main event. I began to slide backwards because bare feet & carpet don’t offer the best traction. She can feel me slipping and sits up to try and grab me at the same time I try to jump forward and we headbutt each other.
I collapsed on the floor, her back on the bed, both of us laughing and cussing. She starts to slide off the bed to join me on the floor, sticking her foot directly into my open mouth.
She happened to be extremely ticklish, and a surprise tongue between your toes was apparently too much stimulation for her. She screams, collapses on the floor while trying not to kick me in the face, and has what she later called “the most hilarious and embarrassing orgasm ever.”
I had switched into “protector mode” as she was falling, trying to catch her, keep from getting kicked in the face, and trying to protect my nuts from a falling body all at once, so it took me a second to figure out what was happening, but then I just started laughing all over again.
…at least one of us finished!
Also to OP, that clench from your story would have had other consequences around me… I had a girl go into a sneezing fit once and after a couple death grips I came like a hose.
Lol, that’s a pretty amazing series of events!
I hope this isn’t too much, but I’m kinda jealous of her for being able to finish just from being tickled. That’s honestly goalsAlso to OP, that clench from your story would have had other consequences around me…
I really wish it worked that way with me…
Without getting into too much detail, my anatomy is different. I can only hope that I get the other clenching abilities after SRS. I hope…🙏
Nothing your mom hasn’t told you about probably.
Wow, low blow 😭
Especially since my dad moved out when I was 10, lolGood one tho ❤️
I have a specifically not NSFW one, but it feels relevant anyway. My wife was about to get ready for work, and while I can’t remember exactly what lead to it, there was some kind of “betcha can’t catch me” chase from the kitchen to the bedroom that was not sexual in nature, that’s just where her work clothes were. Well, to punctuate her victory she leaps onto the bed for a diving finish, including a rotation so she’d come down on her back like a high-jump. Majestic.
Well, it would have been, if she’d not overshot a bit and smashed the back of her head off the edge of the headboard… Hard.
We go to the hospital because she’s got a concussion, and when they ask how this happened, and you answer that she whacked her head really hard against a headboard, it opens up a whole new category of questions! The kind that involve me being asked to leave the room so we could answer the questions separately, just in case she had a different answer when I’m not present in the room with her… 😅
The concussion was bad enough she needed a bunch of time off work, so naturally friends and family are concerned and have questions! Questions like “oh wow, that sounds pretty bad, how did it happen?”. And, like, it’s pretty hard to give an answer of “she banged her head really hard on the headboard with me before work” without people getting really squinty and blushy 😛
So it’s not sexual! Honest! It just really really sounds like it…
One time I was walking through our production floor and saw a 20 ton crane where the wire rope wasn’t in the grooves on the cable spool while the crane had a 15 ton ladle of molten iron hanging from it. Definitely not safe for work. What was funny is that the safety guy was the crane operator that night because they were short staffed, and I was the backup.
Molten Iron… 🫦 That’s so hot!
Wow, that’s a “not safe for work” situation if I’ve ever heard of one 😆
My ex was always much funnier than me. But we first established a raport through sharing reddit humor (the unfunniest of jokes) including that one famous story about the guy who attempted to talk dirty when requested by his girlfriend to “be kind of mean” and he called her a slur for disabled people.
During our first time together my ex decides to start cracking jokes to punctuate our palpable anxiety and sets me up with “Talk dirty to me Chaunticleer”
I can’t just repeat the reddit joke but I have autism and I’m slow off the cuff so I lean in and whisper “George Bush did 9-11”
Without missing a beat she pulled me closer and demanded “Crash your airplane into my towers”
We’re pretty unfunny but both have the quality of managing our uncomfortable feelings by just staying the stupidest thing that pops into our brain
I’ve definitely almost slipped on lube in the shower with others or almost slipped on someone’s packer. I call that a dick slip
Nope. None. Every single one of my many sexual experiences has been executed flawlessly to the extreme enthusiasm of my numerous partners.
Wow. Someone’s boasting about being good in bed :3
(Not meant to be offensive, sorry if it sounded that way)
That’s ok, I was lying anyways.
Ah, I see. So it was sarcasm. Whoosh, my bad 😅
One time a former partner and I were doing it in the morning. Sunlight streaming through the window. They’re on top. Everything’s great.
They’re on their period. They dismount. Some combination of biology and physics made my dick like slap back toward my stomach, and flick a huge splatter of blood into the air. In my mind it went in slow motion, shimmering and roiling through the sunlight until it hit the wall. I was like “holy shit that was amazing!!”
They were really embarrassed and ran off to the bathroom.
More the aftereffects. My wife and I went off the side of a nature trail once. Several hours later, I had to ask for help removing the tick that had implanted itself snugly in the fold between my penis and scrotum.
Nooo, that’s horrible 😭
Ticks and genitals don’t mix! I’m so sorry for you…Outdoors sex is amazing, but this is the stuff that gives me nightmares
I got to inspect her for ticks, too, so it wasn’t all bad.
I once met a girl at a party and things went so well and so fast that when I took her to the bedroom, I invited her sister to join us.
That’s because the girl was black-out drunk and I wanted to put her to bed, in the custody of her sister, so that I could leave.
That was a short roller coaster
Waow 👀
That’s…just wow. It’s very sweet of you and you did the right thing ♥️. The sad thing is, I’m sure plenty of people would have taken advantage of the situation…Thanks for sharing 🩷
Hooked up with a girl as a one night stand kinda thing. Started making out and she slid down her hand to grab my dick. In a sexy voice she says “ooooo soooo big”. I instantly started laughing. My dick is fine it’s absolutely doesn’t warrant a statement like that. She started laughing too and we both acknowledged “so big” was a stretch. Rest of the night went well.
LOL, that made me laugh quite a bit
This is totally unwarranted, but I respect your…idk, humility ig?
I personally know lots of guys that would just blindly agree with that statement or even vehemently make it themselves, despite the actual reality of their junk…Nice story tho and I’m glad the rest of your night went well ♥️
Did you copy/paste this from a previous post? I think I read this one word for word some time ago.
edit: nvm, it was linked earlier.
Yeah lol it’s my story I’ve shared before when I made a post like this.
My girlfriend and I were on vacation with another couple, sharing a hotel room. For privacy we banged in the bathroom. I picked her up and fucked her against the wall. Hot, a good time was had by all.
When we finished though, we were shocked to see a lot of blood smeared all over the wall. Apparently the tile had scratched my girlfriend’s lower back up. She didn’t feel it at the time but it made a huge mess.
Whoever tiled the wall did a piss poor job. And the tiles were not safe, if it managed to cut skin that deep.
Ouch, I’m sorry for your girlfriend! Sounds like someone did a bad job building the tile wall. I really hope she was okay after that…
Cats find it entertaining and might decide to play.
Nooo, do not the cat 😭
No worries not doing cat. However, depending on cat sensitive parts of preferably men are in danger.
Yes.
Alright then, keep your damn secrets 😭
If you’re referring to the incident with the (Bad) Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.
I was once going down on a girl while I was sitting in the front seat of a van. So, I guess, really she was going UP on me?
She got really into it at one point and bucked hard against my face but in the moment it was brushed off as nothing.
Until she was done and looked down to see my face completely covered in blood and freaked out thinking she had her period. “luckily” It was just my poor busted nose gushing like a gunshot wound…
Damn, that’s quite something! I appreciate your commitment tho. Even a broken nose didn’t stop you from satisfying your partner, that’s actually pretty admirable! ♥️
but in the moment it was brushed off as nothing
Torally get that! In the moment, back pain or scratches or even exhaustion…it all just fades into the background, at least for me, as I focus on doing my best for my man.
That’s quite an experience. I hope your nose is alright…thanks for sharing!
