I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.
OP, please mark this post as NSFW.
Yes, this chick I went on a Tinder date did. I showed up to pick her up, then she’s like “how about we stay in”, so I said “ok sure”. She already had stuff cooking so obviously she planned on not going to dinner or anything. Anyways we had dinner, it was ok. Her profile picture was obviously older (shocker), but not catfish levels or anything, she still was cute/ok. Anyways we had a couple drinks, and she ruffied one or both of them. All I remember is getting super tired, then flashes of her riding me on the couch.
It’s absolutely disgusting movies treat guys getting SAed as a joke but it’s treated as serious for women. I think there’s a movie, 40 days and 40 nights where the dude is literally tired to a bed and a girl basically raped him and it’s treated as a comedy scene.
My father forced me to masturbate to child porn by pretending to be a girl at my school on AIM. I would get scared and freaked out, stop responding to the account, then he would call me and demand that I keep talking to this “girl” because he was bothering him at work. Very graphic, explicit highly illegal shit. He also encouraged me to share his sex toys. Once he made me jerk him off.
Later he planted CSAM on my stepfathers laptop and got him fired from his job, arrested, years long court case attempting to prove his innocence before they finally dropped the case when we found time stamped photos proving my step dad was not at home. The FBI dropped the case right before trial.
Nothing happened to my Dad. He died a decade later still a PoS. There was a funeral, but I didn’t tell any of his friends. He didn’t deserve mourning. This all happened when I was between 12 and 20. The last time I talked to him before he passed, when I was 30ish. My girlfriend at the time left the room, and apropos of nothing he asked what kind of porn I liked and suggested ways to hide it from her.
You deserved better, fuck that guy
Whenever I share, it goes poorly and I only end up triggering myself. I now only share with people in my inner circle and only if it’s relevant to something. Talking about it is really hard and if it goes poorly, it can retraumatize. Women have to defend immediately, ala “well what were you wearing?” Bitch I was 4. I don’t blame people for not talking about it more openly.
I’ve had my full dick and balls groped by an older (like 50’s) lady at one of my jobs (I was maybe 20-21). Brought it up to management and was told “What!? No way! She’s just a sweet old lady, she would never do anything like that!”
Meanwhile she not only grabbed my whole ass genitalia, she whispered “I’d love to see all this up close” while doing so.
No one ever believed me and it happened multiple times hence why I no longer work there…
I believe you.
That’s so fucked up
I can totally believe that. I spent most of my teenage years playing bass in my dads band, the band played mostly in pubs, bars and restaurants, audience was usually +40 years of age. It was quite a surprise for me how aggressive a middle aged drunk woman can be. I got touched so much for years, until I learned to run off stage and dive into the van or back stage room, which ever was the closest.
I hear this so often from young men (or men who were at one point young men). It’s absolutely disgusting and should be spoken about more. Even if they do believe the men, they’ll say they’re somehow “lucky” to have gotten a woman’s attention.
I’m so sorry it happened to you.
🫂
No I haven’t, and I don’t know anyone who has been either. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, and I agree that people should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed - I wish more people agreed about that.
A friend’s ex (not ex at the time) apparently sucked my dick when I was blackout drunk. She “confessed” to him, but told him I initiated, and that fucked up the friendship for a while until he confronted me about it and I set things straight. I’m pretty sure he believed me, she had a bunch of other behavioral problems and she’d cheated before, but things are still weird. At least they’re not together anymore.
I have been coerced before, by my ex wife.
Long story made short, if she wanted sex and I didn’t, and I said no, it would always pan out the same way. We’d start at “Did I do something wrong?” And end up at “everyone hates me and I should just go ahead and kill myself.” So I stopped saying no even if I didn’t want to, because honestly it was faster to just give her what she wanted.
As a man, it feels so minor compared to what everyone else will associate with sexual abuse, but my therapist tells me abuse is abuse and that nobody would question it if the genders were reversed.
It’s had effects even 5 years after we’ve separated, but I’m getting better. Learning to take up space again.
It’s not minor at all. She sounds really manipulative and in desperate need of professional help. I hope she gets it before she hurts more people.
We were young and both had our issues, and we’re both better off separated.
I’ve found a new relationship (when you find the right person, you understand why it didn’t work with anyone else) and I’m in a much better place overall.
She’s now a he (FtM trans) and is much more stable as a result. He’s a teacher at a school in a city 4.5 hours away from me, and has remarried.
I consider myself an LGTBQ+ ally, and I fully support my ex’s right to transition and be recognized as his preferred gender. And I can still say that my ex wife was a manipulative piece of work who left scars on me, so I just don’t want anything at all to do with him, even if he’s better.
He deserves happiness, but he can be happy over there, 4.5 hours away.
You are really lucky to have a good therapist. And they are 100% right.
An ex (female) would scream, cry and otherwise force me if I set boundaries
i had an ex who did this. Lost all interest in sex with her when she started doing it.
I don’t blame you
Yup i was a work at a apartment building when a guest was staying at an apartment they waylayed me in the stairwell i froze as they kissed me and forced themselves on me only thing running through my mind was just go with it if they say i was the one who assaulted them instead i could lose my job or in trouble legally since it would be my word against there word. Luckly before we got to sex i was able to convice them i would come back another time i can’t do it now and i made sure to never see them around again and avoided them while they were around.
Yes, was SA’s by a priest when I was a kid (mid 1970s), along with a lot of other people over a 30-40 year span. In the late 1980s, there was a joint lawsuit against him, with about 130 cases, many willing to testify. But he was a “pillar of the community,” and had stronger support (and lawyers) on his side. It went back and forth for a few years, then he died of a heart attack. The case kind of died with him, except his widow went after some of us with ruthless cruelty and legal harassment.
It wasn’t the priest in my case, it was elder members of the Church. Nothing could be proved, I still deal with it now, happened in the 80’s.
I have a very strong aversion to religion an spirituality in general, it fundamentally changed who I am.
I got so angry the other day, they stole any spirituality I could participate in. I felt jealous of those who have it.
But I play a mean guitar, I am filthy.
And I help others with trauma issues.
It helps.
Good luck in your journey my friend.
So many people failed you and that’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I am a male hetrosexual
deleted by creator
Yup. Twice.
🫂
And the wild part? I didn’t even think of it as assault, but when i recently (maybe a year or two ago) reframed as “the inebriated cannot consent” I’d have to say, that definitely happened twice. I blamed myself for being drunk both times. Neither time has ever sit well with me, even before I reframed it.
And in both cases, the other, I feel weird even saying assailant, was stone sober.
Yes. (I am a woman and pretty old so I guess it goes without saying but yes.)
I’m a woman.
I was SA-ed when I was 7. A teacher saved me, it would have been more than SA if he hadn’t. My mother said “I know, don’t mention it again” when I told her.
I’ve been coerced into sex by both my (ex) husband and boyfriends multiple times because I thought women had a duty to say yes when they wanted sex. I was forced to have anal sex without lube a bunch of times.
I never want to have sex with a guy again.
That’s awful, your mom failed you.
First off, may I just say fuck your mother for dismissing such an awful thing that happened to you. Are you low/no-contact with her?
Second, I’m sorry that experience was the beginning of so many others. I don’t know your orientation or preferences, but I at least hope you can find a stable relationship with someone who respects you more than the men you’ve had in your life so far.
🫂
Yes and every woman I know personally has either been raped or sexually assaulted. My own mother and sisters included. I have a sneaking suspicion that my dad has his own story, but I don’t know the details.
My ex-husband was propositioned by his step-father when he turned 18 years old.
My best friend was routinely raped by her husband until she could finally leave him.
My own stories are varied and have happened sporadically through my life.
This should be NSFW. Not everyone wants to be reminded of being SA’d by scrolling Lemmy
🫂
