Now this is a classic shower thought.
Pretty sure it shouldn’t actually be in this community then. I thought the only things that were allowed here were thinly veiled political commentaries.
Have you ever held a dying person? You know when it’s over.
I can speak to this, though with a dog rather than a human. She lost control of her bowels and bladder when she went. I feel for the dude next to me in the waiting room at the vet. He was probably there to get shots for his cat or something and wasn’t expecting a dog to buy the farm right there.
I’m sorry dude. That’s not a fun thing to remember. My wife and I were camping and the cat up and died of total body failure, but she held on until we got back from camping to finish dying so she could say goodbye to us. Fuck that cat was the sweetest.
Now every time the cat wobbles I get nervous
Coming soon to self-driving cars: Grandad comes to visit from Kansas, but he’s been dead for five hours.
👋 Hi there! This is Waygo transporter #69420, with an important message.
There was a slight oopsie with Pip-Pop on the way to <your location>. Please review the following transcript log, created by my tamper-proof auditing system (powered by Windows 15). <receiving override signal> light editing for readability <verifying override signature> legal subsystem at our headquarters. To obtain the original file <encountered unhandled exception, rebooting>
5:46:37 - ⚠️ the onboard Waygo Intelligence®️ Agent has detected a sudden adverse health event affecting passenger #A-7713. This matter was urgently escalated with priority to the Higher Intelligence Executive Oracle Cluster (codename Steve). Steve’s analysis considered proximity to medical facilities covered by #A-7713’s insurance plan, in combination with his worsening condition and determined that a euthanization was the best, most humane course of action for all parties. ordered me to initiate procedure 6-7 to euthanize my occupant.
live_feed_of_poor_old_pip-pop_slumped_over_in back seat.mp4
Unfortunately, due to local regulations, we are unable to complete this trip as planned 💔. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Our systems have classified this event as ‘not suspicious’. No further adverse harms are expected. This is great news! 😎
We understand how difficult it is to lose someone 🫂. Their suffering did not last longer than necessary, and they were very lucky to have spent their final moments inside a Life Systems-equipped Waygo.
$rider.details.name.given.use_this_one.'may have passed today, but Waygo will always be there™️.Your user roles on Pip-pop’s Waygo account are ‘emergency contact’ and ‘backup payment method’, making you the highest-ranking user on their account!
You’ll inherit Pip-pop’s $waycoin, Waygo reputation points™️, and the following haptic-enabled entertainment items purchased from our VR app store:
- OnlyFans platinum VR 🔞
- Femboy simulator 2: Bulging Bussies w/ Tight Grip DLC 🔞
- Retro Solitaire: Windows XP w/ haptic punishment community mods
The honor of deciding what happens next is all yours* 🎉
Please make your selection below. Act fast!
<u>Need more time? activate ride share mode to continue.
Over 1000 users have already paid their respects. Click here to say thank you!
23,673 users are peeping your Waygo’s interior cabin on your Livestream right now! $waycoin proceeds are flooding your wallet!
You’re popular! There is a higher than normal number of local users bidding to share your ride! Cha-ching! 🤑 Click here to cash in.
✨Select one of our Premium End of the Road™️ packages, and we’ll include a 5% discount, and waive all applicable transaction fees AND cargo surcharges! ❤️🩹 ~offer valid for the next 30 minutes. Does not include hazardous cargo disposal~
<u>Click here</u> to deliver Pip-pop to the nearest Waygo-partnered funeral home for fully-automated cross-reality death services. This is an exclusive offering from our sister company Last Stop™️. Features include:
-A reserved 10cm*10cm plot at The Mound, the world’s last-remaining IRL burial site. Your loved one’s Remains Cube (patent pending) will be gently placed inside its resting place with precision. (1 month of subscription credits included FREE!) -Customize every detail of your loved one’s premium virtual casket and headstone on CryptoKeepr - the world’s first blockchain mausoleum, sponsored by Brave browser -Apply traditional religious flavor to funeral proceedings. Select a generic preset, mix and match elements from both approved religions, or let AI take the wheel and tailor religious aspects to suit your audience’s individual preferences -Allow unlimited attendees to experience the proceedings streamed directly in rich full-spectrum VR with DLSS 5, full-body haptics and custom smell-scapes -Upgrade your membership to unlock Golden Urn status and Elite perks. Among other benefits, we’ll generate a unique Custom Cleric®️ to lead the proceedings and preside eternally over your family’s CryptoKeepr digital tombs.
Low on $waycoin? Allow our generous sponsors to do what they do best - monetize - and up to half of over a significant part of up to a fraction of some of the total costs will be covered!
<u>Click here to donate human remains to Waygo Research**</u> 🆓
how long did this take you to make
Bravo 👏
Well, that’s just a price you pay for not springing for the premium service.
Now, watch this ad about a funeral service provider in your area before we can open the doors.
(Insert Delamain Taxi from CP2077)
Holy hell!! That is something straight out of the Chevy Chase vacation movie!
Have you tried handling a limp body before? Crowd surfing works when you spread out your arms and legs and stiffen your body. When they suddenly go floppy, you’ll be on the ground fast.
The heaviest thing to carry, besides a body, is your emotions and shame. A body is a CLOSE second. Which is why you always move a body with friends! After the whole is dug, shoot your accomplices and just slide their bodies into the hole. Can’t go around having people that can testify against you 🤗
The opening scene of xXx ends with a corpse getting crowd surfed at Rammstein.
People would notice once the bowels released.
Does your shower happen to be built on Indian burial ground?
When you die, you’ll lack pincher and blatter control. The result will be obvious.
Depends on the concert.
NGL, I am impressed by this reply.
In some concerts you’d get peed on anyway https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Against
G.G. Alin
Yeah you’d probably be up there a while lol
:) I have to give you this one 🫣
People = shit
Pincher and Blatter I: The Surf
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*sphincter
“Excuse me, I have to go sphincter a loaf.”
I don’t know. It just doesn’t have the right ring to it.
Nope. It’s pincher now.
My bad
There’s pit angels though. Usually one every few metres. They’re the big guys, usually tall, often wearing white shirts for some reason. They’re the people that manage to clear space in seconds, pick a little person back up off the ground, and get them out of the zone. They’re also great at retrieving lost shoes and returning them to the owner before they get surged to a different location. They’d notice a dead crowd surfer instantly.
A hairy, beary angelic dude once pulled me out from behind the barriers at an In Flames concert, back in their Come Clarity (or Reroute?) days. I had landed in front of some speaker fucken skyscraper. The volume was indescribable.
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Be hard to do before rigor sets in.
Yes
