Why or why not?
If so, would it depend on how they present or their assigned gender at birtb or something else?
(Edit: fixed AGAB to confuse less people. Sorry people.)
Yeah, if we were into each other. How they present and their AGAB matching my own preferences would be a factor.
But at the end of the day, my “straightness” is just a convenient label. If someone gets voted in by the Tribunal (Heart, Mind, and Cock), all labels are ultimately superfluous.
Blessed are we who serve Hemico.
Well, that shorthand just made it into the lexicon
Can we make it a sect of Pastafarianism, or would that get too weird too fast, with the appendages and all? 🤷🏽♂️ Regardless, this notion’s got rhythm and it yearns to be shared with the world. 🤘🏼
HeMiCo, in all things. This is the way.
Heart, mind and cock. Beautiful.
Depends if they have a pussy. In general most non-binary people I’ve met haven’t been particularly androgynous. Which is one of the reasons they confuse me.
But yeah if they’ve got the body type I enjoy and a good personality then sure. No way I could make a universal statement though.
Yep. There’s a general confusion between gender identity and gender expression, that’s why you “expect” non-binary to look androgynous. But indeed, a nonbinary can have a cisman-passing or a ciswoman-passing. I am non-binary and I “look like a man” and it causes me to be insulted or mocked when I go out with makeup or wearing a skirt.
But yeah basically all you need to understand is that gender identity does not have to match a gender expression.
Ok apparently I’m more ignorant than I thought lol thanks for explaining.
No. I am very much a CIS only kind of guy. Now would I abuse them or be mean? No. But sexual attraction is all about preferences. As a black guy here, will I be offended because some women do not want to date a black man? No. Their preference. Same here.
Does the reason why they don’t want to date a black man matters?
Yes and no.
How so? Could you give some examples of reasons that would and reasons that wouldn’t matter? I’m not sure what these would be, but something tells me that we might find the reason for someone’s preference against NB might be similarly important as someone’s preference to not date a black man 🤔
Matters: they won’t date black people because they think black people aren’t people.
Doesn’t matter: they’re just not sexually attracted to black people.
Like, I’m not interested in Hispanic women. Not because I have an issue with Hispanic people, but because the physical features common to the ethnicity don’t do it for me.
Probably not, because I’m generally not attracted to biological males as they usually don’t have the physical attributes I find attractive. Sure, feminine attributes can be achieved through surgery, drugs and makeup, but I’d prefer a natural woman and since there is that choice, that’s what I’d prefer.
Before you get upset, know that this is my honest opinion. I’ll respect you however you identify and will happily hang out with anyone. And I’m sure i’d find some non-binary folk physically attractive, but as I have a choice and I’m a cis hetro then that’s my answer.
no idea why someone would get upset about that, but clearly someone already did. you don’t have to be attracted to everyone, preferences are allowed. if you were asexual, would everyone get mad?
because people are fragile egotistical jerks who think nobody else has the right to not be attracted to them.
I’ve been on many dates where the woman wasn’t into me, and then get upset/offended I wasn’t into her, because HOW COULD I NOT BE INTO HER SHE IS SO AMAZING. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME IF I AM NOT SUPER INTO HER. It’s sadly common.
My favorite is a few people en who dumped me and I wasn’t really that into them, so NBD. But they broke out into tears and crying and screaming because they wanted me to be upset and it was ‘rude’ and ‘offensive’ to them that I wasn’t desperately crying and and I just that I just let them go ‘so easily’.
A lot of people are incredibly selfish and messed up in the head.
broke out into tears and crying and screaming because they wanted me to be upset
Luckily for me, this was how my first LTR ended. I was completely floored by their 180, but I noped out instead of taking the bait, and that experience saved my ass more than a few times in the years that followed.
It’s some real bullshit behavior, but I feel like I might’ve lucked out learning that lesson so early. Pretty telling that so many haven’t yet grown past that early developmental stage, and some never do. 🤌🏼
No thanks, I only date my wife.
Same, I only date her too
Good luck!
That sounds like it would only work if the straight person can easily interpret the non-binary person as “basically like a cis man/woman just with different pronouns”, and the non-binary person either has the same set of genitals that you’d expect based on their appearance, or the straight person just doesn’t care about unexpected genitals, which seems rare.
But I’m bi, so I wouldn’t know.
“Unexpected genitals” sounds like you find them between their shoulder blades
Lol, the whole ‘non-binary’ thing is so weird to me, since I like the lads and the lassies. As long as they tick the attractive boxes, like confident, smart, and being into me, it’s like getting a christmas morning present every time I wake up next to them.
It’s not well-defined or anything. It’s basically a wastebin kind of classification, as in ‘oh I’m not this or that, so i guess I’m non-binary’.
It also acts as a holding space for people who haven’t figured our who they want to be.
in my interactions iwth non-binary people, there are a lot of them who seem to be into that classification of themselves as some sort of ‘fighting the patriarchy’ or ‘refusing to be labeled’ type of teenage rebellion attitude stuff. also a lot of poly, alt, kink, etc lifestyle folks, at least on my dating apps.
I know plenty of gay women who are into gock, so why don’t straight men like gock?
Gock?
Gock is girl cock
Ah, thanks
Toxic masculinity, heteronormativity etc.
That makes sense, masculinity is the main thing straight men have that gay women don’t. And if it’s stopping them from enjoying themselves, it sounds toxic.
Some straight men do like gock.
My husband is one of them.
I hope you both have fun pegging him organic style
For better or worse, I’m a cis bisexual woman so the usual pegging is what we’ve got. I love the term “organic style pegging” though hahah
But he really does enjoy gock and he really is straight.
Straight guy here. As long as they have the body parts I’m interested in and plan on keeping them, I don’t care what gender they align with.
Are you really interested in body parts only? Like (I suppose you’re a straight man), a man with a beard and muscles but with a vagina would turn you on?
They wouldn’t really be non-binary if they’ve undergone gender affirming care.
Point of order - non-binary people sometimes medically transition. We might not choose all the options to swap to a full binary presentation but target things which cause us duress.
Non-binary is under the trans umbrella though not every Non-binary person identifies as trans. There are political enbies or people who see their ambivalence towards gender and sex characteristics entirely as being an expression of a Non-binary experience while others experience the same euphoria/dysphoria to their natal sex characteristics that binary trans people do but desire more of an absence of all sex characteristics or a mix of male and female phenotypic traits.
Your statement in effect only describes a fraction of Non-binary people.
They could be. Transitioning doesnt stop them from choosing to identify with a non-binary gender.
Are you thinking of intersex? Even in that scenario, I don’t believe that statement applies.
Then no, I wouldn’t be with them if they’ve transitioned. That’s part of the “keeping the parts I’m attracted to”.
In all honesty I don’t think I could handle it and I’d become toxic in some way eventually just because I probably couldn’t ever understand my partner to a level where I could consider them my partner.
… If that makes any damn sense
Depends more on their biological sex, not what they identify as.
I don’t know why it would matter? If I’m attracted to them and they’re nice to me there’s no reason not to
I was never interested in dating anyone queer while I was looking. it’s not the kind of relationship I’m looking for. I more want a regular guy who wants to be the dad and who will likewise let me be the mom. new boyfriend is like that and we’re happily getting to know each other.
I’m married to a non binary person.
How many times?
/s
Probably not, just because I don’t think I can really relate to that identity. If I’m being honest, I just don’t really understand it. It seems more like a cultural phenomenon to me than a real identity that is based on some biological reality, even if just in the brain. I’m not saying I don’t think a brain biology couldn’t produce something like that, but it seems much more likely to be the product of cultural factors than that to me.
Addendum: Plus, I honestly find it hard to use gender neutral or gender-sex unaligned pronouns if the person still looks like their biological sex. I don’t think I’d want to deal with using gender neutral pronouns with a partner that looks female, and being straight, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to an androgynous or male-looking person.
though have you considered that hiding such identity has been product of cultural factors?
Oh, sure. But if that was the case, I would expect to see evidence of it cropping up throughout history, like we see with homosexuality and transsexuality. Maybe there is evidence and I’m just ignorant, but it hasn’t been pointed out to me if that’s the case.
It might also be, that the multitude of different sexualities is result of people being able to think about that stuff without worrying constantly they will be hunted down for it. Even though things are still not exactly optimal, society has become safe enough for more complex behaviour to emerge. So on second thought, maybe its indeed product of cultural factors 🤔
Personally, i have always thought i’m 100% straight, but after discussing about things with a friend and after starting to feel I shed last of the things suppressing me, I think i might be only 90% ±9% straight. I think if we could completely remove all suppression of thought, every human would deviate at least a little from binaric gender system. I also think it would improve mental health a lot too and it would lessen the amount of people who want to hurt other people for being different. Probably everyone who preaches how homosexuality is a sin is secretly non-straight, but they just suppress it so badly it drives them to insanity of hurting others.
That’s a nice line of thinking but it ignores the fact that it adds layers of complexity to life that aren’t necessarily beneficial. What has this 100% to 90-99% straight identification really added to your life vs. how much cognitive power it’s cost you to achieve it?
This is what I meant about us not having observed gender-neutral identification appearing throughout history. Sure, it may be a nuanced idea to gender identity, but what’s it really worth? If it was worth much, I would think we’d see examples of it poke through the prejudices of society throughout history. I just don’t see that.
Likewise, if it was really biologically driven, I would think it couldn’t be fully suppressed by societal norms, just like homosexuality and transsexuality. The fact that it doesn’t seem to be so strong a trait leaves me thinking it’s a cultural phenomenon. That doesn’t make it invalid or useless, but it certainly does make it less important than traits that are indelible enough to overcome cultural factors.
Honestly, I’m really not convinced it’s just a cultural fad, which may reflect a gradient on the gender spectrum, but is more like the tapers of the two spikes that represent male/female identification, rather than some vast valley of gender-in-betweenism that deserves broad acknowledgement.
it means i might be open to relationship with same gender as myself or other experiences. It also means i can better relate to other people in similar position. But how can you evaluate what is necessarily beneficial to others or how much bother things have caused for them?
But ultimately, what does it even matter what people think about their gender? its their own business. It still falls down to people either liking eachother or not. Only thing added is expectation of respecting what other person thinks about themselves, which also serves as a filter for people one wouldnt want to associate with anyway.
I’ve gone on dates with non-binary people, but usually they have off-putting personalities and beliefs or were quite rude and weird.
I get matches from them on dating apps too, but again, usually they are very hostile/angry or have other off-putting life-style stuff, like being poly, so I just don’t bother engaging.
I’d have no issue being in a relationship with a person, if they didn’t have the baggage or weird off-putting beliefs that seem to come with being non-binary. Especially the ‘edgelord’ personality nonsense that seems to be really common among queer/non-binary people. I have met queer folks who weren’t like that, but only in a non-romantic context, in romantic context the ones i attract are very much the teenage edgelords.
I wonder how much of that rudeness/hostility is because they quickly clocked you as a very judgemental person and were annoyed at wasting their time going on said date?
Queer people have to deal with a lot of entitled, judgemental people (particularly those willing to date cishet men). You can only encounter so many people who think themselves better than you or who exhibit traits like toxic masculinity or prejudicial beliefs before becoming jaded.
It’s not necessarily you, it’s all the shitty people that came before you that set the bar so low that it’s underground. You need to show you’re at least better than that abysmally low standard before someone’s likely to open up to you.
Yeah, I do notice a lot of people with shitty attitudes and toxic personalities call me judgemental.
And I also notice people who don’t have those personalities, like me.
I wonder why that is? I can’t think of any reason… many it’s like when the tankies on lemmy tell me i’m an ignorant and brainwashed by capitalism if i don’t think China is a utopian state?
Piefed user moment
Within reason, yes. Not looking for anything complicated.
