This didn’t happen to me.
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Fine Shart 👩🍳
Um, are you ok, OP?
OP going rogue
Tech bros and crypto bros move over. This new silicon valley trend will have you shitting your pants…
Well, if I was Donald Trump, I’d blame Biden.
Depends how drunk and if I maybe have a chance with making out.
First instinct would be go to restroom, remove my underwear and throw them in the trashcan, wipe myself and use any fragrance I can find. Next grab a beer and say someone threw their dirty underwear in the bathroom trash.
Until they line everyone up for underwear inspection.
PHD Damn you got it figured out. 🤣
Insufficient information for meaningful answer. Are we talking full on mud volcano here, or are we talking about an unwelcome fart nugget?
For the latter, the nugget’s going in the toilet, I’m scrubbing my undies with toilet paper as best I can and then I’m leaving ASAP because I no longer trust my lower gastrointestinal tract. Yes, I’d continue to wear them. No I wouldn’t use water. I don’t like going commando and I’m not going to wear soggy undies for the sake of a nugget.
For the former, I’d probably get to and then hide in the bathroom and do whatever I could to clean myself up. Probably try not to cry. If alcohol’s involved, fail at that (though I didn’t start drinking until 18, so this is moot). Soggy clothing no longer optional.
Then I make an escape checking for any trails I might have left from ground zero to the bathroom on the return journey to the way out. I may take the coward’s way out and not claim any knowledge, but I’d be convinced that people would know it was me, and there’s a good chance I’d be right.
But I know I’d want out of there ASAP.
Post on Lemmy, obviously.
Quietly make an exit unannounced and then throw out everything if you drive on a clean side.
Found Kaitlin Bennett’a alt account
Go home?
I permanent marker “BUY BITCOIN” on my entire shit smelling body as many times as I can as fast as I can expecting the time stream to put me back to being 39 years old any second.
Cha cha real slow and turn it out… I smell funky funky funky. Now bust a move right up on out of here.
I blamed it on the dog
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Leave. Straight up irish goodbye. There’ll be more parties if you don’t have a rep for literally smelling like shit. Toss the underwear on the way home.
I’ve heard a story about this after party where things were getting a bit raunchy and at some point they where sitting naked on the couch. Apparently one of the guys kind of shit himself and he decided to just not move an inch. When everyone else took a smoke break, he left the party and with that an accompanying shit stain in the couch.
Needless to say that he didn’t really get any new invites after that
I would have stole the cushion tbh
Ngl that would’ve been the better choice
Steal the cushion, wash it at home, bring it back pretending it was some kind of weird drunk prank, no one would be the wiser
I mean, if bro returned my cushion all fresh and clean and apologized for shitting on it I’d be like damn this motherfucker is responsible
I don’t care if I don’t have a ride or how far I would have to walk. Just start walking. Hell, I’m not even worried about being abducted, cause I already shit myself
I’m just picturing walking home and a van pulls up. Guys with guns jump out and scream “get in the van!”
“whats that smell?” and you reply “I shit my pants”
“forget it, get out. We’ll find someone else who isn’t covered in their shit… And we’ll send you the bill for cleaning our seat!”
I’m surprised this isn’t the only answer.
To paraphrase Mike Tyson, everyone has a plan until they shit their own pants.
This didn’t happen to me.
Imagine OP in the broom closet with shit-stained pants while the party’s roaring outside
“Please respond asap.”
They’re gonna be roaring at ol’ Poopy Pants the moment they realize what happened.
