Maybe it’s cuz I’m an introvert, but I realized I haven’t really talk to my aunts/uncles outside of family gatherings that I was forced to go to…
Like idk, older generation feels so weird… like they feel kinda intimidating…
nope. they pretty much didn’t give a shit about me until they learned I was somewhat successful and had kids, then they wanted to be involved in my family.
no birthday cards, no wedding invitations, nothing. then bam, once they all started to get old enough to start dying they wanted to reach out and be family again.
not just that they ruined a particularly fond memory I had as a child and I never forgave them for it.
fuck em. they’re just strangers to me by now anyway. I wish them the best in life but have no desire to include them in my life.
No. I moved around a lot as a kid, and we’re all scattered around the country at this point.
Some, not all. And who I stay in touch with changes over time. I have many aunts, uncles, cousins and the next 2 generations so it isn’t possible to keep meaningfully in touch with everyone. We have a pretty good grapevine so information eventually filters through.
I attended a funeral this week and all I can say is I have some regrets, imperfect though they were
things are hard, it’s not always possible, amd people are complex, but it’s good to still try
Yeah we see them every year or so, more my dad’s side, they came over last year as a surprise birthday visit for my dad. My mum’s brothers don’t usually come down to our area cause she moved away in the first place. And we don’t go up there as often since Grandma died.
Not a ton, but I do talk to one great uncle occasionally. And a great aunt (her late husband was the great uncle’s older brother). Come to think of it, several second cousins, too. We don’t talk a ton, but we do voluntarily see each other beyond the “family weddings and funerals” rotation.
I have a couple of aunts that I can have deep conversations with. I also get along with some of my cousins. I’ll say that my family isn’t as hierarchical as other families are.
Cousins in my age group once every few months maybe, aunts and uncles hardly ever. Not even my own all that frequently, but we have a whatsapp group with those and my parents where we chat somewhat frequently.
I have tried. They seem to think it’s weird. Oh well, family gatherings happen often enough, and there’s other legit excuses sometimes.
My parents immigrated here so we have no extended family in the country. I don’t really speak to any of them online except occasionally my 1st/2nd cousins. My family only travels to see our relatives once every 5 years, on average. It doesn’t help that there is a language barrier problem because I don’t have fluency past an elementary school level, and they have the same problem with English.
Learning to correct my writing is probably the one thing I think I appreciate LLMs for.
there is a language barrier problem because I don’t have fluency past an elementary school level
Same, can barely hold a conversation with my parents. Talk about like space exploration, medical terms, science, politics, or any deep conversation and suddenly I’m struggling to find the vocabulary. I have the Chinese Language Lexicon of a 2nd grader.
Conversations with relative in mainland China or any like older relatives like grandparent are basically impossible. Even the aunts/uncles in the US that speak English… it’s still gonna be awkward when its always Cantonese in family gatherings, suddenly speaking English feels so like “wrong” for some reason, like its weird, the vibes would not even feel like family, it would feel like talking to a stranger lol.
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Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other’s company.
Weirdo
Yeah i never call or hang out with them separately, but i enjoy seeing them once or twice a year when we all get together
I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
I won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now. Cousin also wore a trump shirt to the funeral. Trashy.
(I know I’m generalizing, but) in my life, the same people who would have crucified someone wearing anything but a black suit and tie are many of the same people who would wear The Orange Anus’s clothing line at a funeral now.
Same thing with wearing/modifying the American flag. It used to be verboten by nationalists, but now it’s not (if they do it).
…said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
There’s the whole MAGA movement summed up in one sentence.
No. But also I don’t really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don’t need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.
No ill feelings, I’m just no less awkward with them than other normies.
Relationships are incredibly important for living a long and fulfilling life.
One of the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their life:
“I wish I had stayed in touch with the people who mattered.”
It also has a protective factor to your health too.
Now, does that mean that you have to force yourself to like those extended relatives? No, of course not. Just like any other people, you must make the assessment whether these people are on the whole a benefit or a deterrent to you.
But being a family member often grants you a quick on-ramp to foster those relationships.
We all often say it’s too hard, we’re too busy. And I’d argue that if you find value in it, then you’re going to do it with intention and make the time.
