The headline seems to imply that the real news is that the “Obese woman” has FIVE lovers
Obese woman: I AM DISPLEASED!!!
Lover number 2 scurries in, head low eyes darting around: yes milord
Obese woman: bring me 6’s head on a pike, but do it… Slowly.
Lover 2: yes milord backs into the shadows quietly.
Its always a huge hit to the self esteem when you see people like this with many lovers and I can’t even get a date.
These folks aren’t interested in a date. Depraved sex is to them what collecting old video games is to me.
It’s just a hobby, and they aren’t usually picky or they can’t afford their hobby.
You can get a date, if you lower to standards to anyone. No shade, but are you looking to hit up Ms. “obese, unhygienic, multiple kid having, dirty house and stinky 🐱?” Not saying that you should, but if you accept anything, you’ll get anything.
For a start, pretty sure none of them know what a lemmy is
One of the guys might be free. Gotta get in line for her tho …
Two of the men have the same last name and are 26 years apart in age. Are they father and son?
Short answer: yes
Long answer: also yes.
Thanks for explaining that.
Stay classy Daily Heil.
The guy on the bottom right is the only one actually nailing that look.
That’s why he’s the Husband
Shit I got port and starboard reversed again
check the Emergency Captain’s Panel
He looks like he should be playing lead guitar in a folk band or something. Like he’s from some parallel universe’s version of Fleet Foxes.
They’re definetly in a metal band with several backgrounds. Top mid, clockwise: vocals, drums, lead guitar, bass, rhythm guitar (though guitars actually often harmonize or exchange solos)
His hair is fucking majestic.
Whaaaat, bottom middle for me, except he’s got mean eyes. That might be a reflection of his recent circumstances though, I can’t imagine he’s in a great mood.
What #3 lacks in hair he makes up for in heart!
You, too, can be in a polyamorous relationship if you get on meth. Woohoo!
Bottom right had bits of Adrien Brody DNA. Bottom middle had bits of Guillermo del Toro. Husband, maybe Geico Caveman? Top two, I got nothing. Top-middle is like Wish.com Kurt Cobain, maybe. Top-right kinda looks like a former professor of mine, but that’s not helpful.
Top right reminded me of someone, I’ve been racking my brain for the last couple of hours and finally figured it out.
For all, that’s Dennis Franz (Captain Lorenzo from Die Hard 2), not porn hedgehog Ron Jeremy, though he would be a much better example for the guys above.
Maybe guy above is a Jeremy/Franz love child
Nice, good call. Also maybe this guy:
Top right Ricky Gervais maybe?
I was thinking Haley Joel Osment in about 25 years.
Is that Richard Stallman?
They’re wearing orange so it might just be that they aren’t allowed to shave or take care of their presentation in jail
Burn on Stallman
The answer to that question is always yes.
I hate to read the daily mail, and can only apologise for linking to it but the story is great.
They kept him in a motel for a week, before letting him visit a store where he contacted someone who contacted his mum, to come rescue him …
The victim was rescued only when his captors allowed him a brief trip to a nearby Speedway convenience store on March 21, as reported by FOX8.
During the moment of freedom, he managed to make contact with someone who then alerted his mother.
‘When he was there, he made contact with an individual, who got in contact with the victim’s mother,’ Sprow explained.
His mother immediately rushed to the Red Roof Inn to rescue her son, and police were called to the scene.In response to the comment in the screenshot.
Also about the comment, i think she was in a Johnny Depp phase, when she built the 4th guy.
husband looks like if an Amish guy was super into Linkin Park
Man, I never thought about how fucked up the idea of fucking a clone that you yourself made actually is.
Me wondering what obese has to do with it… “Dailymail” oh… Got it.
Somehow it follows us from FB to Twitter to Reddit to here.
Also the bold all caps FIVE… Like, can you beleive an obese person can have multiple people interested in them?
I read the article and have no idea
What does daily mail have to do with it? removed is obese. Can the news not report facts anymore. Are people so used to clickbait that factual headlines bother them. I guess clickbait really has won.
Is she:
✅Obese
✅Woman
✅FIVE lovers
The only reason to point out her weight is to trigger some unnecessary reaction of disgust from people. It’s not a matter of factual or not, it’s not relevant at all to the story about “abducting and torturing” a person. Why does it matter at all that she’s obese? They didn’t put “short dark haired, white, brown eyed…” They chose obese for a reason and to me it’s kinda gross to be enforcing the whole “weight shame” thing. Like yeah this person is supremely fucked up, but you put that stuff out there like it’s normal and ok to shame someone for which has an effect when taken in with the rest of what we observe in any given day.
What dailymail has to do with it is they’re a shit rag tabloid outlet that runs the kind of nonsense stories you used to see about people finding Bigfoot and whatnot so it makes sense they’d be framing something like this. It’s a form of click bait to be honest, it doesn’t have to be a lie to be click bait it just has to attract your click. The obese part isn’t necessary but it might get someone to click.
Obese commenter @Jimmycakes@lemmy.world with no friends and social life, who recently discovered a huge wart on his nose, and who just remembered that nobody likes him, left a comment on a post recently.
That don’t even make sense the wart is on my dick. You can be sued for libel and cyber bullying
I can see why folks are so upset, but the obesity is the only thing that makes this story interesting in today’s crazy world.
Articles need a hook. Like meth or maga or madness or incest or … obesity. That’s how they get read.Now … I imagine most of you don’t have any experience with polyamory. A LOT of those folks are morbidly obese. So the joke here is that DM is screaming about an everyday fact of that community in order to hype a … murder? (dunno, dont care about theses idiots, didnt read.)
She’s got a type
And range!
Was gonna say she did, and that that type has great hair, but top right over here bucking trends. Why did she not have them kill him instead?
People who wear orange 😍
Orange is the new black?
But I wanted lemon-lime!
It must be a cult uniform. That prison jumpsuit look is all the rage amongst polygamous cultists I hear.
