feeling like the whole society is absolute delulu atp. the world is going down so why the fuck would you set kids in this world? everybody is acting like they dont fear the future and everybody is just thinking one day ahead. do they really think its going to get better by magic?
The drive to reproduce is very deeply seated.
never got that. like i get the drive to have sex, to do risky things or somethink spontaneous. But you can think about kids for years. you can always decide and take your time with the decision. i know for most people its not that deep, but for me i never got the feeling to want my own kids. why would i?
because my life is ruined shitheap of misery and i dont have the emotional capacity to deal with kids, the financial capacity to afford kids, and my genetics are a ticking timebomb that i really wouldnt want to inflict on kids the way it was inflicted on me.
and lets not even get into the world itself and how its a festering cesspit on teetering on the edge of fascistic ruin because an elite group of corrupt billionaires don’t want to ever give up their dragon hordes, or their ability to fuck infants and toddlers.
I went to the Arctic in 2006, learned a lot about our climate future, and decided that if any of it started coming true I wouldn’t have any kids. 20 years later, it’s all far worse than we imagined and i am happy i didn’t bring kids into this mess.
The short answer is: I don’t want to.
The longer answer is: I really, seriously, don’t want to.
That’s the thing that so many people seem to miss
They want reasons that they find acceptable, not “I don’t wanna”
Multiple legitimate reasons include, economic crisises, extreme economic inequality, the current climate crisis and many other legitimate reasons
The fact that I just don’t want kids is a “legitimate” reason
It’s offensive that you think there are “legitimate” reasons, because it implies that anything else is “illegitimate”
I was raised in a very dysfunctional household. I broke free, met an amazing partner, and we both wanted children. I finally have the opportunity to be a kid again with them, provide them the childhood I never had and be apart of it, by having the childhood I never had. My kids are 9 & 11… and we are slowly having to pull back on fun active activities outdoors during the summer months because the environment is getting worse and worse year over year…
I broke the cycle, but their childhood is slowly being robbed of them.
Record rain in my area to where water drainage infrastructure is being destroyed bit by bit every fucking night. Massive tornado inducing storms where we normally don’t see them (a freak event killed a bunch of people and destroyed nearly a billion dollars in property back in the 80s, nothing since and nothing before). Record amount of tornados in my Province, humid as fuck when I live in the prairies. Smokey unbeatable air because of the one area not getting rain burning down.
I want off this ride.
Same. Never had a tornado warning in my life. Now we get several actual tornadoes every year. I love my kids and I love being a parent but I feel so guilty.
Number One: I’m a homosexual, so I’m not having the reproductive type of copulation, EVER.
Number Two: Bigots. They poisoned public perception of homosexuals. They fought to legislate away our rights and prevent us from adopting children amongst many other things like legalized marriage. They pushed gay people into the fringes of society, lead our friends and families to abandon us, marginalized, and isolated us. Those scars run deep and the societal damage is still festering. Even if I were still young enough to feel confident I could raise a child and live long enough to finish the job now that things are “better” and these rights are an option to me, I wouldn’t adopt. I have seen the inside, and I know it’s all too easy for society to fall back into the abyss. NO thank you. I’m already at max capacity caring for adult parents, can’t imagine if there were children in the equation as well.
Now that’s just me personally. On the other hand…
Fewer couples have the capacity and/or desire to support a family, let alone a large one, as it means a loss of income from one or both partners not working, vastly increased expenses, strain on relationships, and a myriad other problems. If most people could live comfortably and with reasonably fulfilled needs/desires on the income from one person and it didn’t require that one person to work themselves to death, then you might see higher birth rates.
Anecdotally, the people I’m seeing having the most kids (like 3+) are pretty much all financially very well off or struggling really badly. There are exceptions, of course, but most couples who are keeping their heads above water (if only barely) know their limits and recognize that having kids, let alone multiple children, would bring hardship to all involved.
Trying to find a moment in history when the long term outlook was rosey enough to say “Now is the right time to have kids”, and I can’t.
Part of having kids is the struggle of supporting other people. Part of the joy of having kids is positioning a future person to do things you lacked the opportunity to do, yourself.
If humanity can solve climate change, we still will not be the generation that lives to see it. We’ll pass the torch and then our children will pass the torch and then our grandchildren will know if we were successfully.
My bloodline survived oppression, war, famines, subjugation, violent storms and many more things. I fully understand and agree that people who don’t want kids and can’t see themselves emotionally/financially supporting them should not have kids. It should be a choice and should be a passionate one and there’s nothing wrong with deciding it’s not for you. This doomsaying crap is an awful excuse though. Other than the highest form of elite in a society, there has never been a guarantee for safety or security.
Is it scary that we will be experiencing climate change and the associated catastrophic events associated with it? Yes, it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying that there will be death there will be suffering and there will be violence. It sucks that while we’ve gone through big culture shifts as a species we haven’t united over this or are making big shifts to fix it. We CAN though. We HAVE united under struggle historically. We DO survive the impossible and the terrible and while I can’t say with any absolute that most people are great, there are great people and have been those who have made a positive change.
So, let’s say you have a system where people go to work, do their job, and get paid. The employer wants more productivity, so the work becomes more stressful (“a full workload”). The worker does more for less, the company celebrates.
There is a hidden element here: stress. Your workers will be more productive, however their baseline stress levels will rise over time. It’s cumulative and takes years to show; but it means everyone above a certain age who works a well paying job has a high stress burden. A lot of people live without any job security.
Stressed organisms do not reproduce.
I’d put it this way: being a parent is basically a second job. If your workplace takes 100% of your work capacity, then there is none left for raising children.
everyone above a certain age who works a well paying job
Haha I wish
Do you have any idea how much you have to abuse a living being for it to consciously not want to have kids?
And we achieved this level of abuse on humans! And we did it very well, in reproducible way, with reproducible results across multiple countries! We should make a research paper about it.
Nah,
I just think that they’re annoying, and they would absolutely ruin my life
There’s not a single thing that appeals about having children. Everything I enjoy would be ruined by them
I wasn’t beaten or abused by society. I live in a civilised part of the world, rather than the shit show that is 'Murica
It’s not neccesary to invent grand reasons for not breeding
I just didn’t want to
I mean, cynical part of me wants to thank you, since my kids will have better chance at life with less competition for it.
This is exactly the kind of thing breeders say that makes me cringe at the thought of reproducing another human into this world. Fucking lunatic
It’s people like that that comfort me in my belief that leaving the trees was a mistake.
Unironically calling another person a breeder is kinda fucked though.
Unironically thinking it’s better to keep jamming unloved kids into this hateful world instead of making it a better place for those already in it is pretty fucked too
Having and raising kids and bettering the world we live in aren’t mutually exclusive.
They certainly aren’t mutually inclusive either
What makes you think their kids are unloved? You just seem extremely bitter. It’s cool that you decided not to reproduce. Whatever, it’s your life and your decision to make. But fuck you for thinking like that about people who do have kids. Fuck. You.
It’s justified. You are not thinking straight, and are shoving non-consenting people into a world that is overburdened, and explicitly does not want them.
We need to fix this place, before forcing anyone to live in it.
You just assume every child is unloved and maybe in their lifetime they won’t make the world a better place? Lol
Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but with parents like this:
“I mean, cynical part of me wants to thank you, since my kids will have better chance at life with less competition for it.”
I don’t expect the world to become a nicer, better, place.
I find people that say “breeders” are even more cringe.
Okay?
Or, your kids could have less support.
this feels like that one sponge bob meme template with the trash or whatevs.
I just don’t want kids. Knew I never wanted to be a parent ever since I was a kid having to help my parents raise my nephews and niece. I could be a billionaire and every problem on Earth could be solved, I still wouldn’t have kids.
There’s a list of legitimate reasons why people don’t and can’t have kids
I really want being childfree to be normalised. The world will be a much better place when the only people having children are the ones who genuinely want to be parents. I’ll never understand why some people get so mad at the idea of others just not wanting to have kids.
@Ryanmiller70 same. And I’m pretty sure my parents didnt want them either. Maybe its genetic lol. Never once have wanted one. They dont bother me and I don’t mind taking care of them for short periods though.
That’s something that people deliberately ignore
There’s still so much stigma in being child-free that people make up more socially palatable excuses rather than just saying “I don’t want kids”
There is no part of my life that would be improved by having kids
Every part of my life would be less pleasant if I had kids
Simples.
Don’t forget there’s many legitimate reasons why people can’t have kids
@FistingEnthusiast in most of america you cannot say that or you get blacklisted. I always just say well, not right now! Which really means hopefully never because their lives will be only suffering.
Well, there is an element of giving back for being well, born.
But in this world, that’s a no-go.
Child-free for 35 years, then had 2 within 2 years. Entirely a personal decision and nobody should dictate to anyone else how they live their lives.
Needless to say my entire perspective has shifted. Its given me a purpose and an outlook I never dreamed I could have. Your mileage may vary.
Of course it shifted
I find your “purpose and outlook” comment to be condescending, clichéd and pointless
You will spend the rest of your life justifying your choice, and the fact that you felt the need to do so, unprompted, to a complete stranger, who clearly does not give a fuck tells me that you know deep down that you fucked up
You weren’t CF for 35 years if you suddenly changed your mind
You either weren’t CF, or you had kids for some stupid reason, and now feel that you have to justify your “change of heart”
Yep. Having children necessitates becoming narcissistic. I’m sure parents don’t believe this, but to force existence into this world, and call it benevolent is just fucking lunacy. Work on making the world a better place before making new chattel.
I won’t believe you’re a better person just because you did the most animal thing there is, instead of the most human thing you can do and actually work towards a better existence for everyone
Anything two idiot teenagers in the back of a car can achieve accidentally is not worthy of praise
Mate, calm down. It was absolutely not my intention to condesend - quite the opposite. However, your reaction has shown me your true character and, like you, I am now absolutely convinced that fatherhood is not for you.
I think what riled that person up, is that the first thing people always tell you when they learn you don’t want children is “Oh you’ll change your mind!” or “I never knew children could be so great until I actually had them”, in an attempt to convince you to bang out some children against your wishes.
It gets really old, really fast, and your comment is down the same road.
Sure—folk sometimes share their lived experience, and sometimes they’re insensitive. I tried not to be, and had shared a genuine opinion, based on my own life. But remember, I also had no desire or interest in having children until I did. I’ve been on that side of the fence, and therefore felt comfortable sharing my experience of the other.
To some folk, it certainly stings when they face clumsy (but likely not malicious) questions about having a family. In my 36 years of living prior to parenthood, I genuinely have no recollection of being remotely challenged on my life choices. If I was asked, I expect I’d have laughed, safe in the knowledge that my choices were entirely my own.
It’s impossible to stress how little your opinion matters to me
4chan is the other way
That’s quite a leap
I’d happily burn every incel, bigot and halfwit that uses 4chan
But, I’m sure you think you’re clever, or that you have somehow scored an imaginary point
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Yeah, I was gonna say that’s probably the biggest factor. All of these are environmental, which I support but I know many who don’t care. It’s money…
Implying the politicians in the government are capable of feeling shame?
In the US you can’t even buy vegetables right now without worrying about getting explosive diarrhea. Just the thing you want for your children.
Our government is just trying to help the people of America by tackling the obesity crisis with this all natural ozempic alternative!
/s (if it wasn’t obvious)
You slash s, but real talk. Make sure your food is up to temperature. A lot of people are about to find out why past us made the FDA in the first place.
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CDC is currently having trouble finding the source and keeping track because a few years ago Trump literally dismantled the very programs that were tasked with doing so.
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Nah, you meant it was because of Biden, surely, and maybe Obama too, right?
Honestly, the government trying to help you is bad.
-ronnie
I was looking at the costs of raising a child the other day and I don’t know how anyone does it. My job pays garbage with trash health insurance.
I’m just so mad at the management class with their high pay and not doing any actual work. My boss seems fine - I think he knows this is bullshit and goes a little out of his way to make it easier for me. But everyone above him? If I saw them drowning I’d have to think a long time before throwing a life vest.
I could totally afford a child, but if I chose to do that, I wouldn’t be able to afford anything else fun, so I haven’t chosen to. By all means, I make a pretty decent living and would’ve probably been in the upper middle class 20 years ago.
I was in the top 2% financially in my country before I walked away from that life (the work I did was lucrative, but a brutal grind)
At no point did money feature into the equation
I just really don’t like kids.
Yeah, there are other reasons than just money for me too, though I do want to have one or two some day.
They don’t want to make it more affordable to have children so that women are forced to drop out of the workforce to stay home and raise them.
But they also don’t pay enough to be able to raise a kid without both parents working too, I take it?
Keep them poor and distracted.
