Oh plenty of things:
having respect for others
being honest
helping the needy
fair pay for fair work
honestly considering others’ perspectives
loyalty
Basically every virtue I was ever told was worthy to embody has been used against me as a weapon or a tool
And of the hundreds of people I know IRL less than 10% give any of these internal value or even attempted to put into practice
And here I’ve been a sucker all my life doing the proper social contract thing because I don’t like the way the world is shaping up and getting CONSTANTLY bent over for it
Also: aphantasia
You have no idea how pissed I was to find out all of you had a fucking superpower, would have been nice to learn this before I wasted 3 years at graphic design
Having basic empathy for other living beings, actually make it through hard work alone. Having enough time for a hobby.
Physical abuse as a child.
Reading.
Or rather, how so many people seem fear and avoid it, or can’t do it. Something like 21% of adults in the US are illiterate, and the majority – 54% – read at or below a 6th grade level.
I’ve been a sight reader probably since I was about six years old. I absolutely cannot look at any words legibly written in my native language and not understand them. You couldn’t force me to look at words written in English and not digest them if you held a gun to my head. I fear no wall of text, no matter how tall it is.
It takes some effort to wrap your head around the notion that not only can most people not do this, but statistically speaking most or at least a plurality of people have to struggle or exert conscious effort to read and many of them are loathe to do so. And roughly one in five people simply can’t. This did not sink in for me when I was younger.
I can’t imagine having to live my life that way. You nerds have seen how much bullshit I write in a day; I’d go absolutely bats.
Limited joint range. I just thought that’s as far as they went. It still freaks me out slightly when I see people using a normal range, as if they’d just turned their heads through 360° or bent their knees the wrong way.
Child abuse. I thought it was normal to threaten children with violence for noncompliance. I thought it was normal to be afraid to misbehave or be suboptimal in school at the threat of violence.
When I was much younger: that normal people could see much further than me.
One of my oldest memories is going into a McDonald’s for the first time with glasses; I stopped and read the entire menu, because I couldn’t believe normal people could read it as soon as you walked in. I always had to get up to the counter to make it out.
I got a lot better in school after that!
Standing to wipe your ass
Struggling not to act on my impulses all the time, doing foolish things before thinking and not being able to go more than a brief period without embarrassing myself. I thought everyone dealt with impulse control issues. Oh hey Adhd, nice to see you.
My family was super meat-centric for all holidays except Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Any meal where it’s physically possible to barbecue, we would. And a family barbecue meant hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, pork steaks, and beef steaks – one of each per person, plus a couple of extras. Sides were German-style slaw and potato salad. Buns were not included, but my grandma would always put a stack of white bread on the table (she was the only person who ever ate it).
When I started dating my husband and took him to a family holiday, he was shocked by the fact that my whole family was eating hamburgers and hot dogs with flatware instead of on buns. And he was actually sad at the lack of side dishes.
When I went to one of his family barbecues, I was sad that there was just one hamburger per person (already on a soggy bun) and a ton of weird casseroles.
Nobody “dresscoded” me at home. As soon as I was old enough to pick my own clothing, I could. What skirts or jeans or dresses I wore was my choice completely. My school also didn’t care much.
Blew my mind when I realized how many other girls had to sneak out with their clothes because the parents had a rule against tight jeans or whatever.
I still think my parents were right with this one. The kids with the strictest rules were always those with the craziest outfits. Can’t blame them, I’d have done the same.
Synesthesia. I was about 20 before I learned it has a name and not everyone has strong colour associations for numbers and letters, or sees a visible map of time in their head, or has music take shape. It never occurred to me to question it because it’s always been my norm.
- “Maladaptive Daydreaming”
- I have an issue with being remembered in person (at least that’s what my therapist said). I will go to different chains of the same store on rotation, or stop going to a store all together if they remember me “too much.” I’ll wait until shift changes or that it’s been long enough that they’ve forgotten about me. I’ve stopped going to certain places all together if there’s no alternatives. Outside of lemmy, I have no social media. I don’t want anyone to ever be able to look me up. Apparently people don’t do that.
- Using different cutlery based off of meal size/how long you want to savor something (ex: You like ice cream, so you may eat it with a smaller spoon so it lasts longer.).
- Wondering what people were thinking/picturing when they bought their clothes (not in a “wow, that’s ugly, what were they thinking” but what they saw themselves as. Did they see this suit and think of themselves as a ceo? Did she buy thay dress and imagine the places she’ll wear it? That sort of thing).
- Having multiple paths to one place. I could get to my classes or office multiple ways. I would rotate, take these stairs one day, this elevator the next, etc.
- I believed everyone had some kind of food that would give them the boo-boos. I’m actually just lactose intolerant.
This was a really recent realization for me. I am one of the people who can voluntarily activate the tensor tympani muscles in my ears to create a low level rumbling sound. I recently tried explaining this to someone else and they still think I am making it up.