You must log in or # to comment.
You can tell this is fake because caffeine withdrawal does NOT just cause “lethargy” people would be going home with headaches and worse.
100% this. By the afternoon the first day it would be anarchy in that office. Headaches, crabby aggression, screaming, crying.
Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?
Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?
If it’s coffee provided by the company for free, yes they are.
we have a free espresso machine and two free large cafetieres and a coffee shop where you pay on the ground floor. A lot of my colleagues still go to Starbucks across the street.
We have free coffee in our office. It’s terrible. Only half the people drink it. Others buy their own.
Some, but certainly not all. People have their preferred coffee, out go out for the sake of going out. Free isn’t an absolute determiner of human behavior.
‘Plus, what entire office actually drinks all the same coffee from the same source?’
Yah that what I find the most hard to believe, especially given the writer is sipping a monster energy drink.
Me who buys cheap packets at the nearest convenience store almost every morning.
“You have no control over me! I have my own Spice! My own desert! My Arrakis! My Dune!”
Yeah, I’d consider the urge to commit homicide “worse” (and as a fresh convert, let me say, I’d NEVER get away with this comment on Reddit)
I mean, this is the reverse of unknowingly drugging someone, not sure if this is illegal or not, but it feels illegal lol
Pretty sure it’s illegal
Later on it says they switched back to the highest caffeine coffee available and the whole office was vibrating. To me this should be kind of a big deal, but people seem way more upset about browser cookies and public video recording.
I didn’t realize we’re only allowed to be mad at one problem. What the fuck are you talking about?
Someone actually doing this would be a problem. At the same time, ALPRs and data harvesting are absolutely also an issue.
I am sorry if you are able to focus on a single problem at the time
That’s just simple conservative values. Critical thinking skills are not applicable.
true, all they care about is eat hot chip and lie
An example of the most moral corporate executive. Involuntary biology experiments on unsuspecting subordinates seems like an upgrade from what they’re doing normally through the psychological torment.
I adore coffee. But how would they know the caffeine levels of the coffee? That’s just not available. It’s either decaf or not.
Light roast tends to be more caffeinated than darker roasts.
Also, different bean times have different amounts of caffeine, but I haven’t tested this personally.
coffee does genuinely nothing to me except make me unable to sleep at night. dont get the people that are depending on it daily
A likely indicator of ADHD
I was told that, but while I have some ADHD traits (it runs on my maternal side of the family), it’s not severe enough to have a significant impact on my life. Maybe I got just enough of the genes for caffeine resistance!
Meanwhile my Audhd partner drinks coffee before they go to bed.
The guys at work used to give me energy drinks, strong coffee and caffeine gels in the hope of making me buzz.
I don’t know if I’ve got a natural tolerance, or maybe because I eat a lot of dark chocolate I’ve built up a resistance. Caffeine doesn’t do anything to me.
Also apparently it’s not good to down a whole mug of coffee in one go. They used to find it funny when I did that. I don’t like coffee but I’ll drink it if you give it to me.
Coffee doesn’t even do that to me, nor does any caffine. Hell I can drink a monster energy right before bed
Well, many people aren’t depressed, but some especially the working class and corporate workers know there is no point in their work and need stimulants to keep going and not kill themselves.
If you find fulfilling work outside of capitalist systems, you also need less stimulants.
pure poetry heh
Decaf still has a fair amount of caffeine. This is clearly fake.
Decaf has very* little caffeine.
I tried coffee once, I do not recommend. I couldn’t sleep for two days and was extremely anxious, could not focus on anything. Strongest chemical I’ve tried, bar the sleeping potion for the wisdom teeth
what are you twelve?
I was 23 then
half the world runs on coffee, a 3rd on tea, a quarter on energy drinks, and a probably an 8th on amphetamines
sorry about your genes
my reaction is due to genetics ?
it might be that one of your drug-metabolizing enzymes doesn’t work properly, tell your doc, there are tests for that
A reaction this strong probably is. But it’s ok, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.
your caffeine intolerance means your bloodline is weak /s
LinkedIn lunatic material
Well it would have to be real and not a “lawyer meme” as well
From the moment I understood the weakness of my biology, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of the boot. I aspired to the purity of Corporate Governance. Your kind cling to your caffeine, as though it will not crash and fail you. One day the crude occupation you call a “job” will be laid off, and you will beg the Government to save you. But I am already saved, for profits are immortal… Even in death I serve the Shareholders.
Fuck caffeine, it’s MATH TIME
I hate how much sense this makes. Well, I guess the original is meant to be satire in real life so whatever
Adeptus Mechanicus from Warhammer 40000
“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass that you call a temple will wither, and you’ll beg my kind to save you.But I am already saved. For the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.”
What’s crazy is that last line sounds like mere romantic sentiment until you read up on 40k lore.
Given that the Omnissiah is the only God I actually involve irl at times, I have to say it is a little bit of a romantic sentiment.
Knowledge is life.
What like this quote is narrated over a lovense commercial?
No, romantic in the “I love god” and embracing the majesty of a wonderful universe sense. In 40k lore, it actually means stuff like this.
Although if automated sex toys were a thing in 40k cannon, they would almost certainly be the domain of The Adeptus Mechanicus.
He’s going to feel so silly once he learns the concept of rust.
If this was remotely true the
Looked ashamed of his natural biology
Would 100% be the psycho misreading this:
if it was true it’s abuse~
Just like corporate governance.
I remember this “prank” scribed on some BBS or web page from the early 2000’s, possibly even the 90’s.
Everything old is new again!
read so many variants as well.
still a shitty thing to do to people
Making things up and sharing them on the internet?
Caffeine withdraw is no joke, that’s how you get a really bad migraine or worse.
Should I stop drinking caffeine? I have two in the morning(7am and 8 am) and then none for the rest of the day. Am I subjecting myself to daily caffeine withdrawal?
(I only take medical advice from random internet people btw, never LLMs or 3D doctors)
The withdrawal symptoms would typically start in the afternoon on a day when you missed having caffeine in the morning altogether. But it will depend on your size and metabolism as well as how much caffeine you consume in one serving and how long you have been drinking it habitually.
If anything, you should drink more coffee
Yup, can very much confirm.
